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When did you completely fuck up your chance with someone? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 4 months ago by gnutard@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] Titou@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

When i told her i love you

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I've made that mistake too. Thing is, if you really mean it then waiting until they say those words to you first kinda feels dishonest and manipulative. Like, if you're feeling that crazy feeling it makes you want them to know exactly how you feel and be able to give informed consent to falling in love. You want them to know how you feel because you don't want to be intense and creepy when they maybe think it's just a fling. You want you words to maybe unlock part of them that feels the same way.

A good suggestion is to not say it during or right after sex in a new relationship.

So yeah, I've fucked up too by saying 'i love you'. But I've also said it first and started a relationship that was maybe the best I've had.

I dunno, I guess I think that when you love someone honesty is the best policy. It won't always work out and when it fucks up you'll be hurting - but you'll at least know you were being open, not hiding stuff.

I hope those words have worked out better for you since!

[–] Titou@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 months ago

Closed peoples told me that she probably wanted a "nones of us knows" relationship, which is probably true.