this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2022
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If two people do something very dangerous together, the probability that they become a pair is much bigger than if this two meet somewhere else and drink only a coffee...
There have been several studies... crossing a very small and swinging hanging bridge over a deep canyon...
To get experiences in hard/dangerous situations makes big emotions, and this emotions create binding feelings...
Did a really stupid hike with a big group of friends. It was a few different groups, so some people didn't know each other. We were 4+ hours out from civilization, had no cell reception, and were getting trashed by waves against a cliff face.
We had a few close calls, but by the end we had 4 people back to safety, 3 people stuck on a cliff freezing their butts off, and 6 people who didn't come to the area. Two of the guys stuck on the cliff were dating (we'll call them Shirley and Lyndon), the third guy only knew me out of the whole group (we'll call him Alfred).
These 3 guys sat on that cliff for over an hour - The most athletic guy (we'll call him James) swam to them from safety multiple times, but against the waves even James was puffed out. On the last swim out, Lyndon and Shirley realized if they didn't get off the cliff now, James wouldn't be able to come back to them another time. So they pushed Alfred off the cliff into the water (since Alfred was not moving otherwise), and the 4 of them swam to safety, all completely exhausted.
That night and for the rest of our camping trip, Alfred, Lyndon and Shirley stuck together like a unit. They changed the sleeping arrangement to share a tent, ate on the same end of the table, went to the washroom together, we even made fun of them for it. It was crazy.
So there's definitely anecdotal experience that intensity forms bonds. That said, after the camping trip they didn't stay in touch, so other factors do need to be at play for longevity too (living in the same region would probably help).
So, if you want the other one should also fall in love with you, go rafting, paragliding, survival-camp...
Not only for a coffee or in cinema. ๐๐