this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation
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I have become one. I lost everything in my life four times somewhat involuntarily. The fifth time I did it intentionally.
Yeah after loosing everything multiple times I developed an anti-attachment kind of feeling to things and people.
It's a boring just surviving type of life now. I do what I need to to survive but have no intentions of ownership on anything and don't feel like investing so much time in relationships.
But almost two years ago I bought my first car (I was 44) and I don't want to loose it as I love driving around aimlessly, it keeps my mind busy has a great sound for music and I control the climate. (It's always too cold or hot at work and too cold at home). If it was not for the cost I would spend most of my time driving but I have to preserve the vehicle as long as possible and don't have much money for maintenance amd gas.
It's weird how I could loose almost anything and would not be phased by it. But please let me keep my car, it's the only reason I wake up to go to work and have some hope for the future. But my insurance got raised by 25% last year apparently because other people are bad drivers (I was told too many claims cost insurers too much but I never made a claim, so cause of too many bad drivers I have to pay for them, fuck them charge them or don't let them drive why me !) , gas and parts and everything necessary has gone up and if I don't get a substantial raise I won't be able to keep up.
I live in my car. I love being on the road. I spent the winter around Tucson but I am itching to get back on the road. People are getting to be terrible drivers, new cars are outrageously priced and my insurance has skyrocketed too.
I have learned to sit in my car rather than moving. That helps. I have learned that I can buy coffee at a coffee shop for less than it costs to drive around, so I treat myself.