this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 26 points 6 months ago

Neuralink logs be like:

Day 1: Implanting the brain chip was successful, patient is recovering.

Day 12: Patient is now capable of controling a mice with his brain.

Day 15: Patient is now capable of text input to computers, also some limited amount of other forms of communications.

Day 21: We asked the patient to do some art, by sending text input to one of those AI art generators. Instead, he just generated an image with his own mind. It is wonderful what science is capable of.

Day 29: This is Dr. R Martinez here on Dr. K Johnson's PDA. Johnson was killed by the patient's newly gained psychic capabilites, which Elon Musk managed to take control of, by tormenting the patient with "voices". This is also the last device neither the patient have destroyed, nor G Ivanovich have compromised. I'm heavily wounded and all my limbs are broken. I don't think I'll be able to leave the factility alive. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm cold. I miss my wife and kids. My other coworkers Prof K Myung and Dr F Williams were also killed by the patient, after we dared to object Musk and his ambitions. Beware of G Ivanovich, he's a traitor, and he's on Musk's side. Please stop Musk and his plan of replacing the US government with... [End of log entry]