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Finding a good instance is the big quandary in using Lemmy and kbin.
Of course the instance I'm using is the best.
Anyway to vet for a good instance what I did initially was check ping times and hops. The first thing you want is an instance close to you with fast network traffic. Then I tried to get a feel for server performance just by using it. An instance that hangs a lot is going to be frustrating. Then there's admin settings and admin quality of the instance itself. I hit gold on the fifth instance I explored.