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Everyone forgets that in the decades before the Civil War everyone saw it coming and the most unionists could bring themselves to do was look for compromises the South didn't want until there was actual shooting and entire blocs of states leaving the Union. They're so terrified of fighting white supremacist revanchism they'd rather negotiate with it until we're back in the middle of another Civil War.
I mean what is the realistic option? Too many voters in the US are still sleepwalking into this. If Dems get too tough, there is a real chance they will overplay that delicate position. It's not that they are afraid of fighting white supremacists, it's that they are afraid of throwing gasoline on the fire.
History suggests that we will get past this and this whole thing will become a cautionary tale.