this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
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I know two males who were raped by women when unconscious in college, and neither of them were okay with it.
People always picture a huge unattractive woman when this gets brought up.
But one of my college roommates got raped by a girl who was at least "an 8".
They had hooked when he was blackout and she was just tipsy. He wanted nothing to do with her tho, and told her that repeatedly. She was just hot, young, and had never been turned down before.
So like a week later we have a party he's not at. She showed up early, had two beers, then went to "wait" in his bed. Even though everyone was telling her not to do that.
When he shows up, still wants nothing to do with her, so just gets blacked out at the party instead of kicking her out of his bed asap. I guess trying to wait her out and hoping she'd eventually give up.
By the time he finally goes to bed, he's blacked out and she's been in there line 6-8 hours and completely sober.
Next morning she teased him about how they had sex again but he kept falling asleep during it.
If he was a chick, no one would argue that the second time was rape. Hell, we'd have probably fought a guy if he kept insisting he was going to "wait" in a drunk girls bed who was clear she didn't want anything to do with him.
Yes, it happens, and it can be very emotionally damaging for men too. One of the guys I was talking about was a virgin, and wanted to wait until he was married to have sex. He passed out in a bedroom at a party, and one of the women there stripped him naked, got him hard, and had sex with him. He was only vaguely conscious when this was happening. He had a very difficult time accepting that his years worth of discipline and sacrifice were stolen from him.
But if he didn't want to have sex he had no business drinking! He should have known she wanted to bone down, and his drinking is an implicit yes! I'm being sarcastic, yes, but I only think to post this because while reading your comment, I had a bit of a knee jerk "he shouldn't do that" to him getting drunk again.
This is part of why this rhetoric is damaging. People who CAN reason past those immediate reactions even start to get tripped up. I can't imagine being a teen and how confusing all of this mess must be.