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I feel like it was the shift from having many small, tight-knit communities run by passionate people to having a couple massive, impersonal communities run by corporations.
Like, for example, back in the day I spent all my time on Worm's Sci Fi Haven. I knew everyone there, and built relationships with people. It was a healthy community run by a guy that really cared about fostering that community.
These days, the closest thing you can really get to that is a subreddit or a Facebook group. Even Lemmy, for all its good points, it's built to be a massive conglomeration of users - in opposition of the more "insular" communities of the past.
"You're definitely one of those girls I've been talking to in the chatroom."
-Flight of the Conchords, probably about AOL circa 1994
Smaller communities can still be created here, such as Beehaw
I'm still active on loads of specific fora, not on Facebook or Reddit (which now looks like Facebook, yuck). 'Yea olde internet' is still out there, you just need to know where to find those small communities. To be honest, I still prefer the subject specific websites and fora.
I remember when I was a kid I used to spent all day modding GTA San Andreas. I will visit GTA Mods , GTA Garage to change , install new textures and new cars the community were greats!
I really think that Facebook messed the internet up. Not even the giant data hungry behemoth it is today, but its success at becoming “the place” really killed the small community aspect of the internet.
I remember in 2000-2001 being active in the yahoo chat rooms. I made friends there! As a 17-18 year old, I traveled hundreds of miles to meet people. I’m still friends with some of those people. I got into Neopets, joined a guild, and made friends in my guild - at least one of whom I’m social media friends with (and have met in real life - after our time on Neopets). Livejournal - same. But it shifted. Everything became big. Impersonal, just a way to get data.
The last time I had community on the internet was in 2016, when carrot chat was a thing on Reddit. A small community I belonged to spun one up, and the folks who joined liked chatting so much that after Carrot imploded, we spun up a Slack channel. Ironically, the Reddit community grew to a point where it felt less like Cheers and more like a beer kiosk at the stadium, but our little Slack group stayed close. It’s fallen off a bit in the intervening years, but I did meet my wife in that group, so no complaints.
Yup, I think this is pretty much it.
Another factor was corporate interest. Now every corporation has an online presence and as such, everything is monetized one way or another.