this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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What are the worst offenders that we should be looking out for? Anything with Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product? "American Slices"?
Do these things even have cheese at all? Or is it all just textured vegetable oil?
Personally, anything labeled "product" or "slices" isn't worth the money. However, the stuff labeled "product" can be okay for something like a grilled cheese if the budget is tight. It will melt, and there is some flavor there.
The stuff labeled "slices" doesn't even melt right at all, and is almost always cheeseless, replacing that with processed oils and trace amounts of dairy products. The worst of those are nothing but oils, colors, and some artificial flavoring.
As always, check your labels. The ingredient list will usually be an accurate guide, whereas front labels sometimes use font sizes and design to hide exactly which designation it is.
Ffs, are you talking about Kraft Singles, or not?
Which version? Kraft makes several types. That's the point of focusing on labeling and ingredients, so that no matter what their marketing department changes, anyone that cares can find what they actually want.
Serously. Kraft makes something like 5 sliced cheeses for different markets. Might even be more than that.
That being said, I did the work for you, despite the sense of entitlement.
The Kraft "American cheese slices" that have a front label that says "kraft singles", and specifies 2% milk is a cheese product rather than a pasteurized processed cheese. The ingredient list of cheeseless, but does include dairy.
The "deli deluxe" has cheese as the first ingredient, and has added water and milk alongside the standard emulsifiers, colorants, and preservatives. It is American cheese rather than a cheese food or a cheese slice, though it obviously isn't as good as it once was. Years ago, when they came out with the deli deluxe, it was only cheese, sodium citrate, and salt. The cheese itself had the colorants, but no extra preservatives.
The Kraft singles branded without the specified 2% milk on the front has cheese as an ingredient, but it is the second ingredient, with the first being milk. It also has a longer list of ingredients, including dairy products. This it in between the other two, and (iirc) is classed as a cheese food.
Out of those three, the deli deluxe is as close to the original version James Kraft made as you'll get today.
Having used all three at various points, the 2% is crap. It does melt well on a hot sandwich, but fails in other applications because it gets a little separated over time when heated. The non 2% labeled is fine for most purposes, and has a better taste imo. Both the non 2% and the deli deluxe can be used for cheese sauces that include other cheeses, as there's enough sodium citrate to emulsify a decent enough amount of unprocessed cheese.
Imo, the best option available at a chain grocery is boar's head. It's essentially the bare minimum of ingredients for yellow American cheese. Barring that, the Kraft deli deluxe is the best commonly available brand. I haven't tried every brand out there, and not all brands are available everywhere, so there may be plenty that are as good as boar's head, and I just haven't had them.
Out of the chain stores, the only one I like is publix. Their basic cheese is the same as deli deluxe. harris teeter, and giant eagle are acceptable, as well, but publix melted the best and tastes the best to me. The rest of the chains fell short in other ways, or didn't even have cheese as an ingredient.
Borden sucks. Worst name brand cheese I've ever had.
Horizon organics is crap too. You'd think a brand focused on organic milk would do better, but it's bland and melts poorly
Can't recall any other brands that stand out.
If you're not already a native I think you've earned the status of honorary Wisconsinite Cheesehead for your dedication.
Now that's a honor :)
The good stuff is what you get if you actually go up to the deli counter and ask for American cheese. Anything where the slices are individually wrapped is pretty much just slightly firmer velveeta.
Great Value slices don't melt on the BBQ
Some slices melt in one temperature range and sort of plasticize in another. That said, if you have it sitting on a burger and not holding it in the flame of a propane torch, it should melt. If it doesn't, like light cheese where I live, there are better options out there.
There's an entire food science behind flavor and melt temperature for processed cheese products. The cheese used at nearly every large fast food chain are not off the shelf options like you have at the store, they are custom made for their specific methods and product line. What melts well with a broiler won't be the best with a flat top.