this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 9 months ago (7 children)

my ass is installing linux on the first machine capable of having linux installed on it.

You are not safe, there is nothing you can do to stop me.

[–] SpeakerToLampposts@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nobody has ported Doom to a Himalayan salt lamp.
Yet.
This is your opportunity!

one step at a time my friend, one step at a time...

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Your tinder date brings you into their home. While they are having a shower, you grab their laptop to install Linux mint cinnamon on it, but the Ventoy ISO wont boot. The track pad is greasy and crusted up with yellow stuff. Screen hinge is cracked. You boot it up to get your bearings. Windows XP, service pack 1. No password. 1 GB RAM. 32 bit CPU. Super PC clean is running. Blatant malware. No antivirus in sight. Internet Explorer 6 lumbers to the foreground. Fifteen spyware toolbars visible. Popups start flooding the screen. You look at the desktop, its littered with zip files with random file names. The mouse cursor is a pirate with a wooden leg. The CPU fan loudens to an alarming volume even though there's no programs running that you can see.

Do you:

  • Continue and try to install a 32 bit version of linux

  • leave silently, unmatch them on tinder, and block their number

  • Leave, but not before performing a mercy killing on the laptop

leave, performing a mercy kill on the laptop.

No associate of mine is going to be using windows xp.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Had an annon grindr date try this on me once. Except I already had Linux on all my electronics. Hottest sex ever. Happily married for 6 years.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

More romantic that 99 prevent of my Grindr dates. Hard jealous.

damn, guess that's a green flag then.

[–] __dev@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There's a decent chance that's still the salt lamp.

as long as i can make it do my bidding for me!

[–] spader312@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

free and open source software is inherently sexy!

[–] pythonoob@programming.dev 1 points 9 months ago (3 children)

You got a go stick ready for this at all time?

[–] miversen33@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

I have an Ubuntu live disc and a Windows install on a USB drive on my keychain lol. The amount of times I've needed one of those and not had it is more than 0 lmao

you think me, a linux user, is leaving home without a handful of bootable drives?