this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
126 points (99.2% liked)

Not The Onion

12582 readers
678 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 28 points 10 months ago (3 children)

If you've ever lived in a rural area, this isn't even remotely onion level weird.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I was thinking the same. I knew a Burger King like this. Perhaps surprisingly, it was one of the cleaner, more well-maintained BKs I've visited.

[–] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you're doing some real illegal stuff, you don't want an inspection just because you didn't keep your frier up to spec

[–] dan@upvote.au 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

It's something I see a lot on Cops (the TV show). They pull someone over because one of their brake lights is out or they went through a stop sign or something like that, and it turns out they have drugs in the car or a warrant for their arrest or something similar. It seems like some of them would get away with it if they didn't give police any reason to pull them over.

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Most criminals aren't very intelligent.

[–] LeadEyes@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

I've never met a prompt and reliable drug dealer.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 1 points 10 months ago

Well, they're the ones on COPS.

[–] ReiRose@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Jf2540@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Exactly, one crime at a time, baby!

[–] HornyOnMain@kbin.social 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago
[–] Stupidmanager@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Rural? Ha! I live in a medium city, suburbs’ish, and 30 years ago I could go through the taco bell drive thru to get weed. This isn’t a new idea.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Same. I grew up in Fort Worth and used to buy weed and LSD at the burger king drive thru. The manager was the dealer and we had code words for stuff. Whopper with extra lettuce was weed obviously. He'd ask, "how many?" to define the amount. For the acid we would say, "make sure the order is correct, I'm not making 2 (3,4,etc..) trips back here.".

Those were good times. Plus the dude was born with no right hand and we had all went to school together and had tons of great nick names for him like, "the one handed bandit" or, "the one handed hash slinger" or my favorite, "the handy man". Before you think I'm an ass he's the one who gave himself these names.

The best thing was watching him weigh out a bag with a postal scale and roll it up all with one hand. For a dude with half the amount of usual hands he was incredibly handy. You had to hand it to him.

Also when you left he would stick out his arm and say give me some nub. You know, instead of a fist bump.

[–] Apollo2323@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 10 months ago

Lol the handy man

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 1 points 10 months ago

It is shit like this that made the Thieves' Cant.

[–] spizzat2@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is this a secret menu item? Do I ask for combo #420 or something?

[–] Stupidmanager@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Just need to know the wrong people.

[–] mx_smith@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I used get my weed from the sonic.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I remember that our KFC got busted by selling because the code was for "an extra biscuit". I was like "who doesn't order extra biscuits?!" Dumbest code word ever.

[–] grayman@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Code should have been an extra large side of green beans. No one ate that nasty mush of canned green beans.