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When would you let go? (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by wintermutehal@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hey all! This may be kind of a dumb post as I know I need to make this decision myself, but I‘d sure love some advice. My oldest dog is 11, going on 12. The poor girl is diabetic, blind, has fatty lipomas, and mobility issues due to diabetes, breed, and age. This morning, we are fairly sure she had a stroke of some sort (the vet agrees with this diagnosis so far, blood work and an X-ray are incoming). She eats but doesn’t really want to get up much, and is generally just resting most of the day. She still has a bit of sparkle in her eyes but she doesn’t really seem to have much energy left. The vet hasn’t mentioned it, but I‘m pretty sure it’s about time to say goodbye. The most important thing to my partner and I is that once she’s suffering, it’s time to let go. She just ate a nice full dinner but still doesn’t want to get up and do much. How long would you give her? Till she’s not eating? The vet hasn’t brought it up yet, so maybe I should be patient, but she’s been such a good friend, I don’t want her to suffer. I’m just at a loss, and this is the first time I‘ve had to do this horrible calculus.

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[–] tan00k@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I just let go of my 16 year old cat this week. I resolved I would do it if he started hiding (cats do that when suffering) or once I was sure he would only get worse. He never did start hiding, but he stopped eating and got so weak that he had trouble getting himself up.

It was tempting to wait and have as much time as I could with him, but I also very much did not want him to die at a vet (though that was plan b if he took a bad turn). I scheduled at-home euthanasia, and it was very odd to have an exact clock on my best friend. I cried so much in the days before and after. But I do feel it was the right decision - he died peacefully with his family around him.

To me, love is simply wanting to be in the presence of another. And true love is to be willing to give even that up if it's in their best interest.