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When would you let go? (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by wintermutehal@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hey all! This may be kind of a dumb post as I know I need to make this decision myself, but I‘d sure love some advice. My oldest dog is 11, going on 12. The poor girl is diabetic, blind, has fatty lipomas, and mobility issues due to diabetes, breed, and age. This morning, we are fairly sure she had a stroke of some sort (the vet agrees with this diagnosis so far, blood work and an X-ray are incoming). She eats but doesn’t really want to get up much, and is generally just resting most of the day. She still has a bit of sparkle in her eyes but she doesn’t really seem to have much energy left. The vet hasn’t mentioned it, but I‘m pretty sure it’s about time to say goodbye. The most important thing to my partner and I is that once she’s suffering, it’s time to let go. She just ate a nice full dinner but still doesn’t want to get up and do much. How long would you give her? Till she’s not eating? The vet hasn’t brought it up yet, so maybe I should be patient, but she’s been such a good friend, I don’t want her to suffer. I’m just at a loss, and this is the first time I‘ve had to do this horrible calculus.

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[–] sxan@midwest.social 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is so important. It's about quality of life. When that's gone, it's time. If the vet is any good, they'll answer this for you: do they think the pet is suffering? It can be really helpful in alleviating guilt that it was "too soon."

Where I differ from your perspective is that I will always choose "a little soon" over "a little late." This is borne out of personal experiences - watching a pet obviously suffer until we could get a vet appointment is among the most traumatizing thing I've gone through. Even one day can be too much. For us, it's cats, and they can go downhill pretty quickly, so for dogs it might be different.

[–] FaceDeer@kbin.social 1 points 10 months ago

I'm not saying that we should choose "a little late." I'm saying that it's almost certainly going to happen, because humans aren't gods that can see the future and know when it is a little late. I'm saying that when that happens we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it, it's just a mistake and mistakes happen. The good days we gave our dogs are the important things to remember and focus on.