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How do you accept the things you cannot change? (feddit.de)

submitted 9 months ago by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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trying to stop being so thin skinned:

I had an online discussion with a random, we had a short but intense exchange until he replied and then blocked me, robbing me of a chance to reply.

I feel hurt because I couldn't reply. To me that means he won. I feel insulted and angry.

Yes, this is something I should talk to about with a shrink, but the therapist I contacted hasn't replied yet, so I might have to start looking for a new one if this one ain't reliable.

In the meantime I turn to the second best thing I can think of: this channel.

I can try to rationalize it: I cannot change it, I'm letting that guy live free in my mind, letting it go is the rational thing to do.

Except that here I'm not being rational, but emotional and I don't know why this triggers me so much.

Not having the last word triggers me. How would you solve this?

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[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

I actually ran into something similar recently. To me, the point of accepting the things you cannot change is inevitable. It may hurt in the moment, but so long as you recognize it as something you cannot change it will quickly slip away. It's in the past already, flowing into the distance on this stream of time.

I think the only issue is figuring out what to recognize as something you cannot change. People run into problems when they refuse to acknowledge something is out of control and chase after it.