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How do you accept the things you cannot change? (feddit.de)

submitted 9 months ago by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

31 comments fedilink hide all child comments

trying to stop being so thin skinned:

I had an online discussion with a random, we had a short but intense exchange until he replied and then blocked me, robbing me of a chance to reply.

I feel hurt because I couldn't reply. To me that means he won. I feel insulted and angry.

Yes, this is something I should talk to about with a shrink, but the therapist I contacted hasn't replied yet, so I might have to start looking for a new one if this one ain't reliable.

In the meantime I turn to the second best thing I can think of: this channel.

I can try to rationalize it: I cannot change it, I'm letting that guy live free in my mind, letting it go is the rational thing to do.

Except that here I'm not being rational, but emotional and I don't know why this triggers me so much.

Not having the last word triggers me. How would you solve this?

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[–] rufus@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I mean three days before you asked a very similar question on how to develop a thicker skin and you got lots of answers, some very long and detailed. I think I didn't reply because I've answered that question several times before, pointed to the ancient greek philosophers, stoicism and how to pay attention to the small things around you and focus on positivity and not waste your energy on negativity. That's generally good advice, but not tailored to your individual situation.

I'm not sure why you ask the same question again. Maybe the answers didn't help you. Or it's just me who thinks it's the same question again but for you this is a different take on a similar topic.

Since you didn't engage in the previous discussion, I thought I'd ask you a direct question. I mean you could just be venting and running through the 5 stages of grief or something. Anyways, I think it's a valid question and you should be able to live a happy life.

How did the thing with the failed appointment turn out? Did you get an apology?