this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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difference between a statement and a complaint? (lemmy.world)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by wellee@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
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What is the difference between a complaint and a statement? If theres anyone with a better set of social skills here to help a dude out lol

Ie when you're chilling watching TV and somebody asks you to go out, but you respond with no thanks, I'm tired. Would stating you're tired be considered a complaint?

Just had a similar action with an NT friend, who says I complain about being tired a lot. When I look back and I never bring it up unprompted, and they comment on my mood so i tell them whats up.. is there some social thing which simply stating you feel negative is seen as a complaint?

Edit: thanks so much for all the comments! I should have been more specific, the examples I gave were not my actual experiences. In fact if I were to be more specific, it's my roommate that made me think about this, and they never want to go out lol. But I can still gain some insight from the comments! But it was much more generalized. Actual interaction: we are going about our day and my roommate casually asks "hey how are ya" and I respond "a bit tired!" And they remark on how I complain about being tired a lot. Which surprised me because I was answering their question, and not getting long winded into it. Then it dawned on me maybe simply stating I feel negative is seen as a complaint by people. Iunno.

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[–] CandleTiger@programming.dev 22 points 10 months ago

A complaint is a statement that there is a problem.

There really are a lot of people who think it’s in general wrong/unpleasant/to be avoided, to say anything negative ever. Only positive, mood-building statements are socially acceptable. This seems to be a regional thing and quite controversial; look up “toxic positivity”.

From your description it could be your friend is in that camp but I doubt it; sounds to me more like your friend might mean something anywhere along the line from, “you say no to activities when I want you to say yes” through “I’m surprised how often you’re tired” to “you seem tired more often than is healthy; something is wrong”