this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
401 points (99.3% liked)
Not The Onion
12272 readers
2324 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Beatings will continue until morale improves
Here, have a slice of pizza.
My boss bought me pizza once! It wasn't as good as the pizzas I used to buy myself, but who can afford non-work-pizza anymore?
I think work-pizza is making my teeth hurt, but my ex-dentist is all like "tell your job to pay me."
Hey, do any of y'all wake up crying, too? My boss says it's allergies in my home; my boss is so nice, they'll even let me stay at work extra-long so I don't have to deal with my home-allergies and they only need me to do extra work without telling anyone in exchange!
Anyway, I don't love work-pizza, but it's better than waking up crying!
Whoops! Another tooth fell out... I bet the new ones are gonna look beautiful when they grow back in like my boss said they will.
The writers for Outer Worlds are here folks ;)
Oh wow! You think my writing is good enough that people might think I'm semi-literate??? Of all the replies I've ever received, this is definitely one of them, and I'll likely sometimes remember it!
One doesn't professionally chart flatulence without gaining some literacy
Oh by the way this is deducted from your salary. Enjoy!
Potato was deducted from pay