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People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 11 months ago by hactar42@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

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[–] MrAlternateTape@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

I have been stressed out about everything in the past, but I worked through a lot of things.

The main thing for me is acceptence. I accept whatever comes at me, and I deal with it.

Missed the bus? I accept that that is the new situation, and then start thinking about how to deal with the consequences. Do I need to inform somebody that I will be later, or do I need to do anything else? Is there a different route I can take?

And what is also important, I watch myself. I make sure I get enough sleep and I have some time for myself to chill. It helps if you are not tired or burned out. I have been tired and burned out and it makes me far more emotional and unpredictable.

I accept that I am not in control of a lot of things. But I can always control my response to those things. If somebody is trying to piss me off, I can stay calm and that puts me in control of the situation.

I also realized that bad moods are contagious. If somebody was in a bad mood around me I would pick it up too. But now I figured, why? I don't want somebody elses state of mind to control mine. So I accept that they are in a bad mood, and choose to keep my mood going.

I choose to control myself in all circumstances, no matter how crazy, and it makes me happier and less stressed. I'm still not perfect but I feel a lot better a lot of the time.

And it's a great practice for emergency situations too. I've been able to solve some things rather quickly just by not panicking and making the right calls to give some things priority over others.