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People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 11 months ago by hactar42@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

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[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Once upon a time, I had anger issues and would get pissed at anyone for any reason. I have 3 main self-help tricks, but keep in mind that self-help can only go so far.

The moment you notice it, stop everything and reflect on if it's worth being upset about. Everything is deserving of some amount of irritation, but only the big things are worth getting irritated about.
Practice mindfulness. Check in on yourself every so often during the day to see how you feel. If you're in a bad mood, try to identify why first. If it's a general feeling and not a specific cause, take about 10 minutes to pause your day and focus on breathing.
Redirect those feelings towards something that deserves it. Righteous anger is a very strong tool, and fighting the things that are the focus of that anger is highly rewarding because it often leaves a positive impact. As an example, I have a lot of righteous anger towards the way my coworkers and I are being treated. To fight that anger I'm helping to form a union. It's rewarding to see people realize that they deserve better

[–] grabyourmotherskeys@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I always ask my son if getting angry is helping. He usually stops, realizes it isn't helping, and tries another approach. No always, though, just like me. Doing our best, right?

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Amen to that! That's why I need a foil to rant about, usually societal issues, just so I can let off that steam