this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
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People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 11 months ago by hactar42@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

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[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Learning, studying, and embracing Stoicism has really helped me. I find The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday helps keep it top of mind for me. It’s a bit of a pop philosophy book, but it works for me.

[–] hactar42@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'll have to check that out. My wife bought me the little book of calm and it's just full.of stuff like, "well you feel angry, try to be calm"

[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

This has quotes from the OG Stoics that are then interpreted for modern life with a paragraph or two. I don’t fully subscribe to every interpretation, but at least it keeps me mindful in my own way.

A second thing I do when I get easily annoyed is to stop and ask myself if I’m tired, hungry, or burned / stressed out about something else. If so, I try to find one small thing in my control I can do to improve my situation. Usually by doing one thing I’m “in control” of it helps me not get so frustrated with the things beyond my control. Even if it’s just realizing that if I clean up a mess an hour later, it’s not the end of the world.

I guess the shortest answer to your question is by keeping a much bigger perspective on life.

[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

This has quotes from the OG Stoics that are then interpreted for modern life with a paragraph or two. I don’t fully subscribe to every interpretation, but at least it keeps me mindful in my own way.