this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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I had a baby last year, and while I was lucky to have an uncomplicated and smooth birth, my experience with lactation was hellish. I had no frame of reference to be able to anticipate how painful breast feeding could be, and my discomfort and suffering were constantly dismissed and downplayed by every nurse I encountered. They basically played it off as "oh you're just not used to it" and told me my baby's latch was fine so I must be fine. One nurse even squeezed my (extremely sore and sensitive) breast while attempting to show me how to feed my baby. I tried telling them the breast pump machines hurt me even on the lowest setting and they just waved me off with a "well it's gotta be done" attitude. When my milk finally did come in it was literally the worst pain I've ever experienced. I woke my husband up with a wailing howl of anguish that made him think the baby had died. When I called the women's health line, trying to explain what I was going through in between gasps and choking back tears they said they couldn't help me but they'd have someone call me back. No one did. I ended up spending the night hyperventilating and in tears trying to massage myself while my husband tried to soothe me.
In every other respect my baby and I got exemplary care. I just got the impression that my experience with having so much pain must be rare, and because of that they figured it couldn't happen or I was just making shit up. I certainly had no idea it could hurt, it wasn't even on my radar of things to be worried about, but turned out to be the worst part of having a baby. I did make an effort to make myself heard, and made some complaints at follow up appointments, but who knows if they took it seriously.