this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy

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Hello you awesome people,

Friends are having a boy and everyone they know wants to push a name on the child. So I decided to be the best friend they could have and to offer only bad, ugly or horrendous names to the lucky parents so they could have a laugh. I already send them some names and dictators, Smeagol, Steve and Juan-Esteban.

So please, people or Lemmy, give me the worst names you could give a child, so that I can help them as a good friend!

Ps: don't worry, I've already planned some meals to drop off when the gremlin will be there to feed the parents. And some take-out vouchers so they won't get food poisoning

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[โ€“] yenahmik@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I once knew someone who refused to tell anyone the name they chose before the baby was born (absolutely valid choice, IMO). The grandpa-to-be chose to exclusively refer to the fetus as Beelzebub.

[โ€“] Freeman@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

That is normal around where I live, because you never know if it will be ~~alice~~ alive after birth. So I mostly see the name in the birth-card my friends usually send

[โ€“] klemptor@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Alice Afterbirth is a great name for the placenta

[โ€“] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

Also a good name for an indie prog metal band

[โ€“] MaggiWuerze@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Where are you from? Chernobyl?

[โ€“] Freeman@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[โ€“] MaggiWuerze@feddit.de 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

because you never know if it will be ~~alice~~ alive after birth.

I know the risk exists here as well, but "you never know" sounds like something someone from rural Africa would say, not Switzerland.

[โ€“] Freeman@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe its an old tradition. But I was shocked by how deadly being pregnant and giving birth (to the mother and the child even moreso) is, still to this day. I thought we solved childbirth or something.

[โ€“] MaggiWuerze@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, the female physique hasn't really adapted to our enormous head size. We solved child mortality more or less, but pregnancy and birth is still quite dangerous.