this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
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Largely, actually, disillusionment.
In another life, I worked as a clinical research assistant in forensic psychology. Our focus was sex offenders.
I had the silly idea that, through research, I could be a part of building a better world. We could prevent a lot of suffering, discover effective and ethical treatments, and develop and disseminate actionable methods for implementing them.
L.O.L.
I could have told stories of how some of the patients scared me. I was cornered by a giant of a man and threatened on my first week. I was followed around the hospital, and even home once. How awkward it was to explain to innocent controls how weβd be hooking their junk up to measure tumescence while showing them some disturbing images. I was yelled at and called a few names over that.
But honestly the biggest impact was losing the hope Iβd had for making a meaningful difference.
Itβs just a bunch of big egos vying for more money and status, their biggest concern being how near the front they can get their name on publications.
I became a solopreneur graphic designer and full stack web developer.
Dead inside from so many angles ππ