Ask Lemmy

We had a difficult move. In that first chaos, we saw the folks across the street with their kid - the same age as out kid (6 years old). Now, I know where they live, and it's a nice neighborhood, so I asked if they would mind a "playdate" at their house for the next few hours (aka babysit). They were happy to do it.

But I should do this in order:

Directly behind us was Agnes. She had the bad kind of dementia, and her daughter (a nurse) was trying to hold it all together. But there was a LOT of screaming as Agnes had no recall of her daughter and thought she was a robber/killer. I had been in a similar situation years earlier and gave our sympathies to the daughter. Agnes died that year and they sold the house.

Clockwise, our left-side neighbor is retired. They winter in Florida. The son is a mental case - shouting profanity and obscenities on the phone at all hours on his back deck. We can't use our deck for the first three years. It mitigated later on. But no relationship there.

Across-left is a VERY private family. Eastern European accent. Grandmother, mother, 3 teen kids, dog. We are told the dog bites. Always pleasant. Never much to say.

Across the street is a busy house. He does some kind of dirt-moving-landscaping thing. Wife is smiley and quiet. Older boys, and a girl in middle school. We ask for a quote for some work like he did for his left-side neighbor. Says Sure, then blows us off. Three times. We don't talk now.

Across-right are the folks from the first story. They have TWO kids. Girl is 2 years older. We became close and still are. The boy becomes a stand-in brother for my son. Like brothers, they have nothing in common, but make it work.

Right-side has the opposite: boy is 2-years older and the girl is the same as my kid. So that's 5 kids at the grade-school bus stop. Every morning the three families stand out front with coffee and chat. wait for the bus, send off the kids, chat some more, head off to work.

The right-side folks have become our closest friends. Wonderful people. We mow each others' lawns, depending on who gets to it first. Outside movie nights in the lawn between the houses. Built matching COVID gardens next to each other. Kids do homework together.

Oh, and back to the backyard. The folks that moved in have a Brooklyn mentality. Squirrels are rats and need exterminating. Every yard needs a fence. Loud music at parties. Suspicious of any new folks. My wife had a bit of that when we met, but lost it after a year or two. I doubt these folks will warm to us, since the fence they put in is 8' high.

There are others further off. "The folks with the Red Setter". "Old Italian Cranky guy". "The guy whose wife died". There's a zombie house on the block - unoccupied for 7+ years. "ZZ-Top dude" - he has a long beard). All folks that walk around the block in nice weather. We wave and smile. Chat about dogs or the weather or the garden if everyone is cheery.

It seems a good idea to remain civil (or silent) - neighbors with grudges make life miserable all around.