this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2023
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I'd be Cables Don't Tangle Man.

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[–] HallaWorld@lemmy.ml 64 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don't know if this qualifies as "b-tier", but I'd really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.

I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. "is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking") would be gold. The amount of times I've gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.

Would also sort out the "is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents"-question, as well as "is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I've yet to find and the whole house is collapsing".

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This sounds like a good premise for a horror story. You get your hearing superpower and everything is finally great, no need to get up and investigate benign noises. And then one day, you hear a sound that no matter what you do, you can’t tell what and where it’s coming from.

[–] poplargrove@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

That would make a great writing prompt imo !writingprompts@lemmy.world

[–] zigmus64@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Your house sounds awesome to look at, but my ADHD wouldn’t allow me to live there. Nothing would get done, and my family would die when the house collapsed.

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm happy I'm not alone. Last night something was going through my kitchen. It sounded larger than a mouse and it didn't care about making noise. You know that moment when you're asleep and your body wakes you up slightly cuz something is off. And you're in that low power state thinking about whether you should think or not because it'll wake you up?

Anyway I was so exhausted I thought let it have some fun I just can't care.

[–] HallaWorld@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

There are dozens of us!

I've had the exact same reaction - "whatever it is, as long as it stays out of the bedroom I'll deal with it tomorrow".

My favorite incident here, as a tangent, is when my wife came to me for help while I was doing something in the garden. A large crow was sitting on the kitchen counter. My initial thought was "well there goes my day" as birds tend to be the worst to get out. However, everyone keep saying how smart those birds are so I figured I'd do what I do when half-ferral cats stumble in.

So I walked in, see the crow, the crow sees me, and we kind of just stare at each other. I slowly backed up, went around the house and entered again through the backdoor. I grabbed his attention again before going out once more, and in again through the main door. We stared at each other some more, and then he just lightly jumped across the floor and went out the back door. No frantical flying and crapping everywhere. 10/10 experience as far as birds stuck in the house goes.

It's probably in my imagination, but we shared a moment there. What's not in my imagination though is that afterwards a bunch of crows started hanging around the house. So I started giving them some snacks every once in a while, because why not. Long story long, we have a small murder of crows watching over the property.