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What are some of the best questions to ask someone new to you, to better get to know them? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by TehBamski@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] goji@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My go-to is to ask what they like to do in their spare time.

A lot of the time you’ll get answers about how they have none or how it’s filled with chores, but you can always redirect and say, if you suddenly had a bunch of free time just for yourself, and you couldn’t use it to work, what would you fill it with?

In my mind the latter gets you down to what brings them joy, and in some cases how they want to see themselves, which can tell you a lot about a person.

[–] ThatHermanoGuy@midwest.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ugh, I hate this question so much!

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What do you do in your spare time?

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

Stop, Patrick, you're scaring them!

[–] mifan@feddit.dk 5 points 1 year ago

This is great - it will get people to talk about something they like. I love that - and I always try to stay curious when people are talking, poke them with whys and hows to really get them talking.

Sometimes the easy thing is to ask a question out of politeness, then not really listen and just wait to get to talk yourself. But focusing on active listening and understanding will bring you much deeper in a conversation and the person you’re talking to.