Asklemmy

43856 readers

1702 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

If someone's pronouns are any/all, what should I use or how should I determine how to refer to you and what pronouns to use? (monyet.cc)

submitted 1 year ago by DragonWasabi@monyet.cc to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

43 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I want to be respectful but if they say they don't care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to "they" because choosing a gender for them feels weird... am I wrong?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Jackthelad@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I've never understood the fuss over pronouns, because if I'm talking to you I'll refer to you by your name. And if I'm referring to you in a conversation with someone else, I'll refer to you by your name, but if I used any pronouns you wouldn't hear it anyway. 🤷

[–] putoelquelolea@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Right. Speaking about people in the third person is rude

[–] Jackthelad@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Exactly. I was taught as a kid that saying he/him or she/her while the person is in the room with you is rude. That's why I use their name and find all this fuss bizarre.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee -2 points 1 year ago

Signaling. From a respect perspective I just call people what they want to be called, but I will rarely apologize for misgendering someone accidentally.