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If someone's pronouns are any/all, what should I use or how should I determine how to refer to you and what pronouns to use? (monyet.cc)

submitted 1 year ago by DragonWasabi@monyet.cc to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I want to be respectful but if they say they don't care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to "they" because choosing a gender for them feels weird... am I wrong?

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[–] LuckingFurker@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

As someone whose pronouns are any/all I genuinely don't care, I'm not going to be offended if you pick one pronoun and stick with it - I am lazy and present male, being AMAB, so people default to he/him anyway - or just use the first one that springs to mind everytime you refer to me. Obviously I can't speak for everyone who is any/all but I imagine if most people cared they wouldn't go with any/all

[–] cryptosporidium140@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's where I'm at, although I do say my pronouns are he/him because that's what everyone calls me. If everyone suddenly started calling me a she, I'd be confused as to why, but ultimately I'd go with it because pronouns just aren't part of who I am

[–] Devi@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I'm in that box, I'm generally She/her, but I have friends who use he/him for me which I take as a compliment tbf from those people for various reasons. If a complete stranger started with a he/him I'd be bemused but not upset at all. I understand that's not 'standard' but I'm genuinely not that bothered.