this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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Autism
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Thank you for your patience in responding to hurtful and dismissive ignorance. The "it works for me so you're lying!" attitude towards the medical system here is maddening.
Well, I do kind of understand the position. I'm bothered by all those people saying "everyone is a little bit ADHD" as well.
I just think there needs to be an open dialogue about self diagnosis and that there is a difference between people just claiming something and people who did their research and "soul searching", maybe even have professional opinions but no official diagnosis.
In "Unmasking Autism" Devon Price called my generation the lost generation. Women and minorities who grew up during a time when autism was being diagnosed but the criteria were based on behavior of a Caucasian young boy. We were overlooked and had to fight for ourselves. When I went to elementary school Asperger's syndrome wasn't even in the DSM yet.
Tbh, I'd much rather be neurotypical or at least have resources to actually help me. Unfortunately that's not an option so I'm doing the best I can.
I'm so sorry you're wishing to be someone else. YI imagine you must experience significant difficulties to get there. Still, I'm happy you have the motivation to continue making changes in your life so you could be happy. If you find anything useful, please share so that us other autists can learn about it :)
Thank you! I don't really wish to be someone else. I just spent the first 20 years of my life being told and thinking I was stupid, lazy and incapable of making friends. The next 20 years were spent masking extremely well and passing for "normal", except for those total breakdowns every couple of years when I couldn't really eat, sleep or communicate for a few weeks. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD etc. but the meds and therapy didn't really help that much. Finally I got a new therapist, a young one, fresh from uni and full of new information and ideas and after reading my file she made me take tests for ADHD and autism. Both were pretty conclusive but she's not licensed to diagnose it. I got diagnosed with ADHD almost two years ago and got meds and better help but there's still a lot of grief for all the years that could have been better and that's what makes me wish to be different sometimes.
That wasn't my point, in any way shape or form.
I gave up on psychologists and psychiatrists when I was very young. I decided they were worthless, and that I would define myself and find what works for me.
I don't claim to have "autism" or "adhd" or anything else because labels do not matter.
That being said, I also recognize and have seem firsthand through my friends that therapy and treatments can help.