this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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I think we make too much of a deal about making friends as adults. Kids are so much easier in this: “Want to be my friend?”, “Sure!”
I’m guilty about this as well, too shy and awkward to just make friends. But I believe most people would be happy to have a new friend if the other made the first move. We’re all just so socially awkward about these things.
Anyway, if anyone wants a friend, I’ll be your friend :)
I realize this doesn’t really answer the question. Best way is to be open and eager to make friends, I suppose?
Some of us were bad at it as kids too.
Of course not every child is the same, and I don't mean to say it applied to every single one of us.
I specifically meant around the age of preschool, kids don't think of the consequences and are just happy to do stuff together.
My own childhood from primary school onwards wasn't blessed with a lot of friendships, so I understand what you're saying here.
It's easy as kids because you know you're both regularly going to be physically present in the same place at the same time, so you'll actually have a chance to do friend things. You don't get that as an adult. You need to figure out if you can actually stay in touch with this person (e.g. maybe you have a shared hobby that allows you to regularly meet). You also have a better idea of what kind of people you get along with as you get older. With less time to spare, you definitely want to have these boxes checked before you invest more time into a relationship.
I understand what you're trying to say here.
Maybe I'm using a different definition for the word friend. The activities you describe are what I would associate with a close friend, someone you trust and want to hang out with.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are plenty of people at work, sports, etc. with whom you get along well with and they would probably enjoy more interaction on a friend(ish) basis. Doesn't mean you have to hang out or become close friends. Just that the tightening of bonds with the people in our surroundings should be easier than it really is.
I have a few coworkers with whom I share my enthusiasms, gripe about shared annoyances, go out for lunch and sometimes dinners. They're not really close friends, and I never really do anything with them outside of work, but I still consider them friends.
Does that make sense? Maybe I'm just rambling.