this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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???
Why would she react like that to a phonecall?
Because phonecalls are reserved for when you immediately with no delay need someone.
Asking about a show is not one of those cases.
Or just want to talk to someone? Why are we simultaneously normalizing anti-social behavior and wondering why the young people are so unhappy?
Why not text 'wanna talk sometime'? A call demands an immediate response, so reserve it for things that demand immediate responses.
No it doesn't. Just don't pick up the phone. If it's important they'll text you to pick up the phone. There's a reason the terms "phone tag" and "screening calls" exist.
But you don't know the relative importance of what they're telling vs what you're doing. A text gives more information than just seeing your receiving a call.
That’s why people leave voicemails… you leave a verbal note of why you’re calling. And if the receiver prefers to read a text about it, several services transcribe voicemails automatically good enough to get the general gist. Or they can listen to them.
The point is that you cannot control other people’s experience, expectations and preferences, only your own. So it’s on you to know yourself well enough to manage your boundaries appropriately with technology/tools, and possibly communication, and not to blame other people for “missteps”. When what they are doing is likely perfectly within the realm of reason to them.
Nothing good ever came out of a voicemail I received. Disabled and wont enable again. Text me if it's important enough for me to call back with a brief topic. I don't call back if I don't get a text, that's reserved for maybe 5 people on earth.
I use these. But they're less direct and easier to misunderstand than if it was native text. If someone wants to say it, they can voice type as well.
I actually agree with you on that one. I hate voicemail. If I don't pick up, shoot me a text or send a voice recording through the messaging app.
I don't even get how voicemail works, last time I checked there was like 6 "unread" voicemails from months ago I never knew I'd gotten and it was just my mom saying "please call me back" or some inaudible noise and figuring out how to delete them is a pain too.
That sounds like something pretty heavily in the "you problem" zone. If it's going to be acceptable to look down on folks who don't understand stuff like chat apps, not understanding voicemail is still "oh god i am not good with technology how did i get here"
Damn dude, it's not that big a deal. Just don't pick up the phone. If it's important they'll find a way to let you know.
if you don't pick up they'll get mad and say you never pick up your phone
You will feel terrible if you don't pick up the phone and it turns out to be something important, like being able to hear the last words of your grandma or something.
Texting is a lot less of a big deal than a phone call is.
I don't mind much. I just don't call because it wastes people's time. But I don't want to let it go to voice mail because then it wastes their time.
Calling is only a waste of time if your conversationalism isn't worth the time. You see the self own don't you?
It wastes time if they're doing something more important and can't talk right now. Not everything I want to talk about is of earth shattering importance, so it isn't always worth their time if their doing something that is more important. If their time is more valuable sometimes, why is it bad that my conversation or question is less valuable than that? Sometimes I just want to catch up.
If they are doing something important they won't answer.
Again, you don't need something earth shattering to talk to someone. It's called being social.
And if you both care about each other, just catching up IS important.
Sure. But it's easier and more information dense to know if you should pick up from a text rather than from just seeing an incoming call.
Ah, see in my opinion going to voicemail is just the risk you take if you call someone.
I'm sorry, what's "phone tag" and "screening calls"? Never heard of any of that.
Haha phone tag is what we used to do before text messages. Call each other over and over and you're never both available 😂
Maybe this is just me and my circle but if someone just wants to talk I'd typically expect that more over discord or something like that rather than phone call unless they're older.
Sure, my work uses discord, and I know friends that use it. But my family doesn't. Plus, if you do sales, or job searching, or anything that involves talking to people for work who don't directly work for your company then Discord is a little awkward. A phone or zoom call is better.
Discord, that's a good one. That's a gaming communication app.
You'll be screwed in 4-5 years when it goes belly up.
No, Discord is a communication app that is mainly used for gaming.
That is like calling Whatsapp a family communication app.
https://media.tenor.com/mo2pN_4naMAAAAAM/office-michael.gif
Unless you know for sure that the other person is legitimately bored, sitting around not doing anything, imposing yourself on someone like this is rude.
It's not imposing. You don't have to answer.
Crippling socal anxiety
In our family it looks exactly like this, that's why I found it very funny :)
We usually just chat and when f.e. dad randomly calls me then it's some serious business. And for that brief moment my mind jumps to most catastrophic scenarios why he could be calling me. And I think it goes both ways because when I call dad the first question usually is "Hi, did something happen?"
I react this way when my mom calls because she never calls me and the one time she did, it was because my grandmother died.
I can see why you'd fear phone calls then. In my family I get a call from my dad about once a week to ask about my day. Usually the family texts more in the mornings, and more phone calls in the evening. Plus for a while I had to pick up the phone anytime someone called for work reasons. You just get used to it after a while.
For real, the last 2 times my mom called me was to tell me my dad had a heart attack and that my nephew died, so I 100% expect something like that if she calls me.
Young people don't call unless it's serious business.
Why she reacted like that while also knowing her dad still calls people? No idea
Not just young people. I've seen this kind of behavior in surprisingly old people such as Gen X and even Baby Boomers, but I've seen it in a LOT of millennials, the youngest of whom are now in their early thirties and the oldest are in their forties.
Not just young people. I am 48, and if I get a call from my mom I would’ve thought something happened to my dad.
because why would you call someone if not for something very urgent?