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Have you ever apologized to someone you wronged for a very long time, or received an unexpected apology in a similar way? (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Mothra@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Such a long title.

Basically I'm wondering if this happens IRL, and how. I've heard countless stories of people who hold a grudge against family members /ex partners/ ex friends/ neighbours etc. for years, and they do horrible things to each other. Or maybe just the cold shoulder can be rough especially for such a long time. But not so many stories of people in these situations who suddenly talk things out unexpectedly, out of their own will and not because they kept getting nagged about whatever happened.

I've also heard about people who screw up big once, never acknowledge or apologize, then everyone puts the episode behind and moves on. But I've never heard about suddenly this person perhaps decades afterwards just actually addressing their screw up and apologizing.

So, have you ever received one of these big, unexpected apologies? Or have you ever apologized for something you did you never thought you would want or dare to apologize for?

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[–] demystify@lemmy.ml 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There was this girl in my school who was an immigrant and didn't speak the national language. It was, I believe, second grade. Our whole class, including me, constantly laughed at her, and it was clear she wasn't enjoying it. She was somewhat of an outsider, never participating in social events, never properly socializing. I've left that school the next year, so I didn't get to see her anymore.

I've met her again in high school, six years later. She spoke the national language, integrated properly, and had many friends. I even met her through a mutual friend. We spoke normally at first, simply acknowledging our shared past, but some guilt gnawed at me. It's not like I couldn't sleep thinking about how I treated her, but I couldn't just pretend I've always been nice to her. So, one day, I took her to the side... and apologized. She was flustered, she clearly didn't expect that, nor did she hold a grudge according to her, but I felt way better afterwards.

[–] wrath-sedan@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago

Good on you for trying to make it right. She may not have said it then, but I bet she appreciated it.