this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Hey bud, no need to deadname anyone.
I use her current preferred pronouns, there are multiple Emilys at the LMG team and for people that might not recognize who I'm talking about if they haven't watched LTT for a while (since 3 months ago). I figured by adding "formerly", I was clear that it's a name she no longer goes by and doesn't feel represented herself well.
you were fine, some people just love to pounce on anything. one video is all that was released, it's completely fine to explain that in this context. if we were talking to her directly, sure.
Disagree. As a casual LTT watcher i had no idea who Emily was until they said her former name. I'm sure there are others like me who don't keep up with the latest happenings in every youtube channel. There's no offense in providing extra information for clarity.
My response here is targeted at the other people replying to this message.
I am extremely distressed at the amount of people justifying deadnaming and upvoting the comments justifying deadnaming compared to the amount of upvotes on this comment.
Deadnaming someone because it's convenient for you is not a good justification.
It is very upsetting for the grand majority of trans people to be referred to by their deadnames. You should not do it unless specifically you are told that it's okay! Please listen to trans people when they say that this is upsetting and that you should not do this.
Edit: Adding the following:
A simple search for "Emily Young LTT" is all you need to find out who she is anyway? So it reiterate the original comment, there is no NEED for the deadnaming. There is only your comfort and convenience.
I thought you had to refer to a person by their old name for that to be the case, not just mention the existence of a former name. I could be wrong though.
Using the name is still deadnaming. Think of it like this. If you changed your name from Jim to John and saw a friend on the street, would you want them to say, "Hi John formerly Jim"? You'd likely just want them to call you by what your name is now. Add to that the likely dysphoria caused by some using a trans person's dead name, and it is now causing harm for no real reason. When in doubt, just call people what they want to be called.
But it is natural to bring it up if you're talking to a common friend that isn't aware of the change of name. OP was talking to us comment reader instead of that person.
If they hadn't done that, I would have had no idea who they were talking about. Sure don't use their old name when talking to them, but you have to use it sometimes when talking about them or people will have no clue who you are talking about.
But your example just referred to someone by their old name. Not saying you’re wrong, but that’s a terrible example. Haha
Better example would be: Friend says, “Hey John, how are you! Remember when you used to go by Jim? Boy, those were crazy times back then.”
Is that deadnaming?
EDIT: my bad. Just re-read the OP post and your example is dead on. For some reason I had it different in my head. Never mind!
Thing is, a lot of people just aren’t aware of Emily’s transition, because she’s been in very few LTT videos since she came out. It makes sense to quickly mention what people used to know her as.
If she had been in dozens of videos since coming out your point would make sense, but she just hasn’t.
(Referring to other replies, sarcastically) I friggin' love having people explain how it's totally cool to do to people all' the things they (or people like them, in relevant contexts) say not to! Like when five freaking people people show up, none citing so much as a blog post or having met a trans person once, explaining that it's totally cool to deadname someone as long as it doesn't bother the person doing the deadnaming.
I'm just a little tired of this "it's fine and you're the real problem for whining about it" (not quoting anyone currently present... I think) kind of attitude. Maybe I'd be singing a different tune if my convenience got to override everyone else's comfort and even wellbeing.
Edit: At least I don't feel so compelled to join Beehaw any more. Certainly not the uniformly careful bunch I'd, unreasonably I suppose, imagined. Silver linings!