this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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This is actually super interesting timing. I rarely ever dream (or remember my dreams anyways). Maybe once every 3 months or so I'll recall something.
Today was that day. I don't remember the whole dream or how it got to this, only that I was hugging my grandfather, sobbing uncontrollably and saying that I have missed him.
My grandfather died 12 years ago...
I woke up kinda stunned, and started crying again. For real this time.
Death didn't real mean much to me, but maybe I'm getting older, I feel it getting closer? I don't know... Super weird stuff.
My mother and grandmother have come to me in dreams since their passing, and usually my dream self is aware that they are no longer with us, and is extra super fighty to wring as much dream time with them as possible before waking up. Sometimes I wake up upset and mournful, other times, I can still feel their hugs and feel all warm and happy. Brains are pretty weird.
Yeah I felt sad sort of but at the same time it was a really good feeling of embracing my grandpa once again.
Fuck... Here come the ninjas cutting onions again
To me it just sounds like your subconscious feels like you didn't take it seriously at the time, remorse as it were
Yeah. I was a teen back then and I think the easiest way to process it was to just not think too much about it? Maybe I just repressed that feeling too much since my mom and grandma were absolutely heartbroken so the only thing I could do was support them. After all this time maybe it's surfacing :[