this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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For some women in China, "Barbie" is more than just a movie — it's also a litmus test for their partner's views on feminism and patriarchy.

The movie has prompted intense social media discussion online, media outlets Sixth Tone and the China Project reported this week, prompting women to discuss their own dating experiences.

One user on the Chinese social media platform Xiaohongshu — a photo-sharing site similar to Instagram that's mostly used by Gen Z women — even shared a guide on Monday for how women can test their boyfriends based on their reaction to the film.

According to the guide, if a man shows hatred for "Barbie" and slams female directors after they leave the theatre, then this man is "stingy" and a "toxic chauvinist," according to Insider's translation of the post. Conversely, if a man understands even half of the movie's themes, "then he is likely a normal guy with normal values and stable emotions," the user wrote.

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[–] betheydocrime@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Much like white privilege, one of the things that makes patriarchy and matriarchy so insidious is that you do not have to directly engage in it in order to benefit from it if you are a masc-presenting person

[–] p1mrx@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I would like to think that my biggest accomplishments (at a big tech company) happened through making good technical/ideological arguments, listening to people's problems, and telling computers how to fix them, rather than my physical appearance. Whenever they asked me to be a manager, I was like "ugh, no that sounds awful."

Then after 15 months of COVID isolation, I burned out and left. Now I'm thinking it'd be nice if I'd learned how to approach women and do standard masculine things. The world doesn't just give you sex for doing well in school/work.

I guess my point is that a patriarchal society makes it difficult for men who don't actively pursue power over others to form relationships.

[–] good_girl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I guess my point is that a patriarchal society makes it difficult for men who don't actively pursue power over others to form relationships.

What's interesting is that this is a concept that's explored in trans-feminist theory. Trans women tend to hold male privilege pre-transition but never really cultivate it and transitioning opens their eyes and makes them acutely aware of their newfound lack of privilege. Male privilege doesn't just come from actively wielding power over others, it happens everywhere all the time. As the other commenter said, even if you tried to avoid it actively in your life, male privilege and the patriarchal society we live in likely contributed to you entering a career in a STEM field and potentially even opened doors for you that may not have been there for you if you were born female because of a 3rd party's views on women in STEM.

[–] GameGod@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

That's not it at all. Get out and meet people, pick up new hobbies that are social, go to events, be friendly, kind, and listen to others. None of making normal relationships has anything to do with power.

[–] new_acct_who_dis@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The world doesn't just give you sex for excelling in school/work.

Ew.

Very surprised you're not getting any.

[–] p1mrx@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I'm just documenting how the world is, not how it should be. In general women can form relationships passively (be excellent and accept/reject offers), while men have to engage in active pursuit, or else nothing happens.

[–] mayo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Totally random, but I came across this site yesterday, just the blog part.. You aren't alone in the struggle. This is the tag line:

"Helping Techie Introverts Who Struggle Socially"

(site)[https://socialconfidencemastery.com/blog/]

And then back on topic... If you just mean talking to women then I think those are just called social skills? Charm? Idk, I don't see it as masculinity. Being assertive can be part of being charming or skilled in social situations, high 'eq' or whatever.

My dad's generation (the boomers) are retiring now and from what I can tell it seems like without work they are a wreck. That's what shutting down emotions and traditional masculinity gets you, IMO.