Asklemmy

Achievable desire? To finally be in a stable place in my life so I can be together with the people I love, and finally have friends again. Might be bisexual, and my wife is totally open to a polyamorous relationship for me to figure that out, so tbh finding that out and maybe gaining a long term boyfriend is also high on my list of desires.

Unachievable though? I want to miraculously recover from all my disabilities and health conditions so I can finally be normal. I want to stop relying on meds to keep me from turning into a batshit crazy nutcase every time I miss even a single dose. Or at least be able to take those meds every night without issue because of my damaged throat refusing to swallow nearly anything I put in my mouth except the most miniscule pills without choking and vomiting them back up. And I want to be able to operate my muscles like a normal person again, something which my meds have thoroughly fucked with, with nothing helping in the slightest. I straight up can't even move my legs if my cat's on top of them. He weighs barely 10 lbs. Plus I get sick constantly even when nobody around me is and nobody knows why. Last month alone I got sick about 6 times. I was only feeling relatively ok for about 3 days total.

The good news, I guess, is every single one of my more achievable goals are well in sight. Just a few months ago they'd all be buried deep in with the unachievable ones, so things are improving little by little.

Things have certainly vastly improved since about 3 years ago, when I couldn't even will myself out of bed. So as whiney as I sound, I'm actually quite happy with where I am and where I'm going.