this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
128 points (95.1% liked)
Asklemmy
44157 readers
1608 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Offering a concise answer to questions, without softening language.
To be fair though, sincerity without empathy is just assholeness. There are way to many people justifying their asshole behaviors with βbeing sincereβ.
Those people are being insincere.
Yeah, people are complicated. Honest opinions might hurt when expressed too harshly, and the hostility might prevent them from being received at all
In addition:
Beating around the bush, with way too soft language.
Sometimes there are moments where some people have different life experiences which lead to different stimuli of insight. These people may potentially take criticism roughly and may need some easing and gentleness. Such people may have the tendency to withdraw or lose confidence upon hearing relatively short messages with no emotional context and then perceive them having negative intent or feeling that they are not worth you time. They may want to talk to sit and form connections instead of pure efficiency of communication. (/s?)
I enjoy shaping bushes. Great memories.
That is true. And on the other hand, or perhaps just by handling their experiences differently, we have those who dislike or even might be offended by being "babyed" or carefully handled/talked down to, and would much rather have an up front interaction where they feel mutually respected.
Both kinds of people exist, and that is fine. One must just not mistake soft language as universal tool that can be used everywhere, or risk standing out as an "asshole".
What a nice and beautiful response, asshole!
(Sorry.. Couldn't help myself. I'm sure you're a lovely person)
As someone below commented, empathy matters. Knowing the audience is key, whether you're giving the middle finger or giving a thank you speech.
You reminded me of this moment: https://youtu.be/up0d6cZQhIU
The way you can tell the difference between honesty and being an asshole is of they say they just "tell it like it is," they're assholes.
This is a joke, not a rule, but it's based in reality.
This seems to be a cultural quirk in North America in particular.
Indeed, I feel quite at home in northern Europe, generally speaking.