this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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Moved to a small town earlier this year, tried to make friends, met some cool people, last month I found out one of the group was super openly transphobic, so I stopped hanging out with them. Tried to reconnect with some cousins, last week I found out one was a transphobe, homophobe, and racist, cut her off. Started to get close with a different one, found out yesterday that he was transphobic, cut him off. I'm not trans, but I don't want to be around idiots that think trans people are groomers. Feeling pretty goddamn isolated and terrible about myself. Wishing I could just stay inside and never see people for the rest of my life.
I understand that very well. I'm trans and have to worry about transphobic people all the time. We appreciate you avoiding transphobic people because you're less likely to become one if you don't hang out with one, but most of all because it basically deplatforms them in reality.
I also just wish I could stay inside and never go out there again. People are hard. And I'm worried about how I appear all the time. I never want strangers to know I'm trans so I avoid letting any of that show. So when they do realize that's always really awkward. But trans stuff aside, people are hard. Very hard. I'm now taking 6 psych pills a day. It helps but it's still not enough.
I'm sorry to hear that. I have really bad self-esteem issues around my body and I have spent my life avoiding the public most of the time for that reason, it's really limited my options in life. I promise that there are other people like me out there that would support you if we saw you, not criticize you. You deserve to be you wherever you feel like being.
I am proud of you for making the choice to ignore the accepted programming of “but faaaaamily” and judge whether to let these individuals into your life based on who they are as people. It is such a hard thing to do. I have nearly cut off all contact with my family - father included - because of such attitudes, and I’m not trans, either. As adults, making friends takes more purposeful action, and that means time in a lot of cases, but it’s worth it. (BIG INTERNET HUG)
Thank you so much and sorry it took me so long to reply. It's nice to hear there are other people out there like me that are going through the same things. Hugs back!