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First of all you really should be seeking professional help. Armchair psychologists that you'll find on social media aren't necessarily going to give you actually helpful advice, and perhaps even the opposite. Look into local services, and especially youth services if you're still young.
Now for the armchair psychologist advice, which may or not be good advice:
You hurt yourself because you feel you are responsible for your situation, and you feel better because you feel like the one responsible is being punished.
In order to stop hurting yourself, you need to be able to question the faulty basis for your assumptions. Why is it that you are responsible? Is it you who caused you to be born into your body and with your family? Is it you who raised you and taught you values?
If a baby crys because it is hungry and the parent hits them, does this seem just to you? The baby is simply acting as any baby would, while the parent has neglected their responsibility.
So it is with you; you have simply acted as any child (and any youth, and so on) in their circumstances would have. Your family has neglected their duty to you, and that is not your fault.
As to how to proceed in moments where you feel guilty and that you need to harm yourself, firstly it's important to recognize you're in one of those situations. Simply telling yourself that you feel guilty and you feel the need to harm yourself is a good start, and may even be a sufficient substitute for actual harm. However much you feel you need to harm yourself, recognize that the possiblity of not harming yourself also exists.
Awareness of your own mental state is an important tool, and developing mindfulness through meditation could help, however I won't recommend it, as sitting with only your thoughts could potentially subject you to a self harm situation. Not to say it will, but I simply don't know enough about your situation to be positive that it won't.
Other things you can do is try and understand the precipitating conditions which result in those feelings. Do you have any triggers, that is. You can work in a safe environment to explore those triggers, and desensitize yourself, but once again that's probably best done under professional supervision.
As the other commenter said, positive self affirmation can also help.
And finally, from one internet stranger to another, I hope things get better for you. <3