figjam

I worked at a summer camp with a wolf spider as roommate in my cabin. I told him she could stay as long as she didn't bite the kids. All other counselors complained about mice in their cabins but were surprised I didn't have any.

Fast forward to the last week of camp. Stupid loudmouth kid sees the spider and hits it with a broom. Kids all scream and I run back inside. Asshole kid is trying to squish her and I stop him and get her outside. I scold the kid and he is unrepentant. Last morning in camp he wakes up with a swolen lip that is rapidly taking over his face. He isn't having an allergic reaction but his whole face looks like sloth from the goonies. As I put him on the bus to go home he is crying because his mom won't recognize him. "Well, maybe next time leave the spider alone"

You are getting buried but its true. Wilson, Reagan, Harrison, Hoover. There's a lot of past jerks.

Nah, they've seen behind the curtain

My personal rule for eol and my pets is whether or not they can enjoy the things they used to. Can't get into your window seat? Here are some stairs. Can't go up the stairs to your window seat due to pain...I'm afraid we need to go for a ride soon.

They invented capitalism because boob hoarding was inefficient.

Have you started collecting toadstool and eye of newt? How is your mad cackle coming along? Are you behind on setting up your 401crone?

You could totally get glowing fungus to grow on wood

Another unpopular opinion. If you borrow money, pay it back. Regardless of who loaned it to you.

Iss is supposed to be end of life soonish right?

That scene scared the shit out of me

Except for the women that peed on him.

Good idea, when you have two busses burn them both down and pout about not being able to get anywhere.