I grew up in an IFB cult due to my parents wanting to assimilate to American society. In the American South, you align to a church and people leave you alone, and that church provides everything for you. That church is your social network. I thought it was normal for church sermons to end up with the crowd angry, and everyone getting into their cars to go protest something together. We used to leave church to go protest other churches on Sunday. Yell at the people from other churches when they came out from their sermons of demonic teachings. Sometimes we would protest churches that spoke in tongues, other times we would protest churches that let gays in. We protested the church where the pastor had a ponytail. During the week, we would protest at the county courthouse. We would protest things that I don't even remember. We protested Wal-Mart when they sold Power Ranger toys because they were demonic. Everybody was scared of my pastor. When we mentioned to people what church we aligned with, people backed off.
My parents were just trying to make it in the land of the free. It's better than what they left in Southeast Asia.
Since I'm from the cult, even today I'm prone to evangelizing things and questioning consensus.
My parents left the IFB cult by the time I was 10 and returned to Buddhism. By then, it was more acceptable and there were a couple other immigrant families, but we still got swastikas on our house. People spread nasty rumors about us and in high school it came out. Girls were not allowed to date me, or were forced to break up with me. One time a sheriff's deputy pulled me over, took my blonde girlfriend out of the car, and back home to her parents. She never spoke to me again, and married a boy from their church a year later. I saw on Facebook that she is now pregnant with their sixth child.
In the military, I practiced as a Buddhist for a few years due to heritage. I went back to Christianity due to convenience and wanting to fit in.
Even in my mid 30's, I was trying to make extreme Christianity work. First I fell into the spiral that is the New IFB. I corresponded with Pastor Steven Anderson. He was always very cordial and we had what I thought were fair and respectful theological debates. What was different about him was that he was not a racist, which was a welcome change from the traditional IFB. He was probably the first religious person that I could talk to who wasn't condescending, and who saw me as another person. I read a lot of scripture then, and found my way back into Christianity. Do you see how I'm still prone to cults?
I later studied LCMS Lutheranism since it seemed authentic with lineage and history. They seemed very knowledgeable and scripturally sound. I corresponded with Pastor Bryan Wolfmueller. I learned more about the bible from the LCMS than I had learned in 35 years as an IFB member. I was going to leave my career and focus on the LCMS. The LCMS members know the bible and the history behind it. They are the biggest bible nerds on the planet. Even Steven Anderson agreed to disagree on theological debates. He disagrees with but respects the LCMS. (this is a complication of conflicting passages in the Bible which they both view as infallible and inerrant) Again, he was always cordial.
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I went back to my old church, and tried to convince my wife that we would start attending an LCMS congregation. This was March 2020. Then the rest of 2020 happened and we found out that we don't belong. As non white, non black people, we never did. Even my evangelical all her life, but still brown wife hates organized religion now. She is now an athiest. I'm not going to share those stories, you just have to accept it. We have distanced ourselves from all forms of Christianity. Our children, who as of 2020 were going to enter private Christian school, are being raised as skeptics and are in a very progressive and tolerant school. They cannot remember a time that they used to go to church, and find the teachings to be silly myths. I started wearing my Buddha pendant again in defiance of Christianity and in preservation of my heritage. But if I had to start clean, with no legacy, I would probably follow Taoism.
I still respect the ELCA, however. They are as close to what Christ preached as I have seen. It's just the mythos of Christianity isn't for me, isn't about my people. There are no ties there and no reason for me to pretend any more. I am my authentic self.
I might delete this later.
Sentencing scheduled for July 11.