Tsun

+1 to the feeling overall in this post. I am very cognizant of the game, and how it's rigged against 99% of people, and I'm tired. But as soon as I try and mention this to people who inquire why I'm always so tired, they immediately come back with "you're just depressed!". Well, yeah maybe, but how can one not be in these TrYiNg TiMeS. I try to make the best of every day, and taking moment to be thankful for what I have both big and small. Sending sympathies and caring vibes in your direction. I hope that the clouds clear soon for you! :)

Hi! Late to the party sorry.

I have gone through this, and similarly to what others say, I was able to pin point it to autism burnout. It's a very steep climb out of the hole, and I wish you the best of luck.

Some things that have helped me in my journey:

• Whenever I am having a moment, using this site to figure out why and what I need: https://youfeellikeshit.com/index.html
• Therapy, specifically someone who is knowledgeable about autism and autism burnout
• Reading as much as I can about autism burnout and how it manifests (it can take months to years to dig yourself out)
• A good book, specifically around keeping house and chores, that has helped me a lot: How to Keep House While Drowning
• If you have the financial means, hiring help to take care of the things taking up space in your brain such as cleaning, food prep, and maybe even taking a leave for a while

Would still love to hear your experiences too if you've got the time and space to share.

I would love to hear perspectives from non-Australian people as well! Currently in Canada and wondering the same thing; but I am also hoping to compile this information so I can better advocate and highlight issues to my peers for fellow autistic people in their countries.

A selection:

• No food could touch. I would eat the hot dog and bun separately and eat the ketchup with a spoon. Pizza was the same: pile the pineapples, ham, cheese, spoon the sauce, and have the dough on the side. Of course all of them to be eaten in a certain order. The only reason why I have stopped now is due to the time it takes plus the odd looks.

• As others have said, innate sense of justice and fairness with an attachment to rules.

• Asking my mom how kids can play with each other on the playground. She gave me a script to use to introduce myself to other kids and ask to play with them. I was almost a teen when I stopped using this and it was only because it was the first time the script didn't work and I was devastated.

• Similarly, asking my mom how to "wave arms while walking". Is it 45° angles back and forth? Same or opposite the legs? Elbows first for a sway or stiff arms?

• Obsessively stacking and organizing objects as "play". Creamers in the basket at a diner, toys in a circle around me, trinkets in a row.

• New media meant new characters to copy into my personality. From mannerisms to straight up copying the dialogue from the movie; I was a chameleon.

• Pattern recognition is unparalleled to other in my grades. Still to this day, it's one of the traits that puts me ahead.

• Flip flopping between "a joy to have in my class; my favourite student" for one teacher to "lacking in (basic neurotipical trait here), has a long way to go" for another teacher.