SquishedFly

joined 8 months ago
 

It's been almost 10 years. I've given up on the hope of them being less jarring to look at so covering is the only thing I can do...

 

For context: This Monday I came out to my work colleges and asked them also to call me by my new name and pronouns. Everyone is very supportive which is all that I could hope for. The only issue is, since in my family noone calls me by my actual name, not many people in my life actually call me by my chosen name (at least up until now).

With everyone at work calling me by my chosen name now, it actually feels quite a bit strange, uncomfortable and even a little embarrassing.

I did talk to my therapist about something like that once and he said that, yes, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and yes, that is uncomfortable but it's a necessary step to get better.

And yet, my brain still slaps me with that sweet sweet imposter syndrome like "how can you be trans if what you want is making you uncomfortable" and so on.

And now I'm here, asking you for similar experiences you've had to hopefully get it through my fat skull that it's a normal thing to feel (hopefully).

So. How long did it take you? Did it just click for you or was it just as uncomfortable as it is for me?

 

I'm so scared...

I'm from a small central European country called Austria. We recently had elections for our EU representative. Sadly, the HEAVILY conservative party (formerly the same party that Hitler was in) won.

Literally all that they want to do is just objectively wrong - from ignoring climate change to leaving the EU, and that's not even mentioning their views on us queer folk.

Seeing as how this election turned out, I'm so incredibly scared of the next one (nationalratswahl) because, if they get elected there too, they can cause some serious damage to Austria/us. I'm actually so scared that I feel the need to kinda rush my transition now (mainly meaning legal name/gender change).

I actually genuinely feel ashamed living here sometimes. And yes, I am thinking of leaving the country if it gets worse but it's really not that easy for me currently...

I'm sorry for the rant but I'm just incredibly scared about my safety here in the future. I also don't have any other place to rant this to ;-;