this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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So I'm European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there or if it is a trend that started recently in the past few years.

I don't wanna generalize any country and know that not everyone is like this but I definitely noticed this type of pattern.

I increasingly noticed in the past years that many Americans are very hateful/cruel, are lacking empathy, become more and more aggressive and it seems like it’s becoming worse.

I'm not sure if this is maybe related to Americans needing to be "though" or something because I always hear about that the American mentality is pretty competitive and individualistic and instead of saying "we will go through this this together" they often have this mentality "it's either me or you but it can't be both who will win". I mean I'm pretty sure that all these things like this biking culture, driving big "manly" pick up trucks, wrestling etc. are pretty prevalent in America compared to other countries and American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved and I guess the strongest opposite to Americans are probably Japanese people.

But to me this seems to go to the point where many Americans seem to have this attitude and are very ignorant and arrogant and basically think they're better than anyone else and they only care for themselves.

And it feels like it's so extreme to the point where everyone is hating, attacking and bashing on everyone and instead of being stronger united they're just fighting against themselves and putting each other down and they always focus on the negative.

Especially online it seems like that no matter what the topic is and independent from whether they are Democrat or Republican they're constantly bashing on someone and baselessly calling them "weak" even though in reality they're probably the ones who are weak and trample onto people cause they're obviously dissatisfied with themselves and aren't able to man-up to face the real issues. You just can't blame everything on others and have to take responsibility for yourself!

Some stuff that I've seen on American news like "Fox News" just seemed crazy where the reporters personally attack and bash on people which is something that would be unthinkable in Europe.

Even though many people were saying that Americans have this "fake friendliness" I'm thinking that even that disappeared in the last few years and they're becoming more open to show what they really think which seems to be that they "don't give a f* about you".

Many Americans that I encountered seem so aggressive like they always need to bash onto something in this toxic way even though they're actually in a very good position and have a lot to be grateful for. Like in other poor countries people have real problems and are literally starving because they have no food or they have war in their country.

I'm always thinking "dude, you need to chill" cause literally no one is attacking them and they're fully secure. But it seems like they're always searching for a fight or something.

It seems like many of these people are so disconnected from nature and become less human and I wonder why they can't just spend meaningful time with other people being positive and not constantly waste their time with hating or complaining about something. Because this just doesn't work and in a society with multiple people especially in a world where everything is more connected than ever we need to hold together and have empathy for one and another. That is one of the core morals that a human needs!

It seems like many Americans generally have this "cruelness" about them cause I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children and even the fact that guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can't even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school and also this general mindset of America is doing everything the best and "America first". I really don't wanna bash on Americans at all and only want to share my experience because I just haven't experienced this type of hate here in Europe in that extreme way and it just makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like this mood is affecting the whole world since American media and influence is prevalent everywhere.

To me it feels like this won't end well and it feels like it's just a matter of time until something very bad happens like the second civil war or so and the storm on the capitol might be nothing compared to that. But maybe that's the only way they will finally learn if they're lacking these core morals and integrity and they don't get educated about that in school.

It also seems like they can't handle critique and can't admit it/stand to those things. When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it's not the same here, cause that is literally just proving my point. There needs to be constructive discussions.

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[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I'm gonna bring up a slightly different take on the situation.

2001, during the walk between my 1st period and 2nd period class, my country changed forever. My math teacher had a shocked look on his face, he put the radio on, and told us that it was very important to listen, as we will never forget this moment. An airplane had hit the world trade center. I remember the bell going off, going to my history class, and shortly afterwards, being told that the busses were coming back to take my classmates home. They were terrified, that their school busses would be attacked and that they wouldn't make it home. I found my brother and we walked home early that day. I got home in time to see my mom staring at the TV, which was surreal on its own because she hates TV. By the time I go home, the towers were falling.

That moment was a catalyst for irrational hate and fear taking over the US. Anti-musilm hate (if you can even call it that sophisticated and targeted, really just anyone the right shade of brown) really took off. I remember hearing about men being assaulted and having their beards shaved. Women had their head covering confiscated, and mosques became a primary target for yahoos and bigots to deface and burn. A few years later I remember and popular jingle about bombing Afghanistan, not specifically the Taliban or Al-Qaeda, but just Afghanistan in general. Hate became more mainstream and visible to me than ever. Sure, the US wasn't perfect before, but for my generation, 9/11 was the moment that "Othering" people who didn't look like you, talk like you, and pray like you, became not just a coping mechanism, but a core identity for a significant portion of the USA. If you spoke out about the irrational hate, you were Un-American, or a traitor. My father took me to see Fahrenheit 911, and I remember hearing about protestors attacking theaters that were playing the movie, and people that were buying tickets for it.

Anyway, that's my two cents on where millennials (at least) got their hate enemas from.

[–] open_mind@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I think Americans experienced way too much unnecessary trauma, uncertainties and weird life events in general that probably made them fearful/put them in survival mode and it turned into anger. It is definitely understandable from a psychological perspective to a point.

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 1 points 3 weeks ago

Americans are have lived through so much. Two buildings were demolished.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Can you give some hard examples of what you mean, and a contrast of what you would expect from a non-american please? I'm reading through this post and I don't know what you're seeing. It's not clear to me given what you wrote so it's hard to pinpoint which behaviors you're referring to.

A lot of the things you bring up (about guns and walking safety at night and sending kids to school) doesn't jive and sounds quite a bit like media washing the entire country. Like. Yes. Guns are legal and lots of people have them. I don't see guns on a daily basis and even when I lived in a particularly crime prone area for the most part gun violence wasn't my main concern.

The thing about corporal punishment of children is that what's legal and illegal varies by state but it's not outright outlawed to spank children (and I was absolutely not spanked, but beaten as a kid).

But there's a reason the public hasn't broken out in violent opposition of the government as a whole (the liberal majority I mean) and it's twofold. Americans don't generally want to have to do violence to force change. If we did there would be a lot more Luigi's, Trump shooters, and BLM founders out there advocating in public for violence against the system and the people who uphold it.

Additionally, people don't want to get involved with that if it means that it will significantly detrimentally affect their lives (which in a lot of cases is very much true). Living in between the "eat the rich/guillotine" idealism and the realism of making it day to day is hard and it doesn't allow a lot of fertile ground for empathy and perhaps that's what you're seeing.

People have too much still to lose for a civil war to be particularly viable. They haven't reached a level of desperation that will allow most of them to commit indiscriminate violence against the system. But also, the education system has been decimated and so they don't think they understand the system well enough to effect change and that goes hand in hand with not getting involved in politics, lobbying, or playing the long game to indoctrinate liberals in a similar fashion to the way conservatives have been indoctrinated (but for the opposite view point, meaning incensing them to make change via a more long and arduous process that has lasting effects). We didn't see Roe v Wade get dismantled overnight. That was the result of decades of conservative movement. We haven't been actively and cohesively trying to counter that with our own movements.

I'd also like to add that the vast majority of people live in cities where nature isn't easily accessible and time isn't given to them to enjoy it. I work something like 60 hours a week. Some people work more than that. The system is directly designed to keep people tired, poor, ignorant, and just desperate enough to continue to participate in the system. So yes, we are disconnected from nature in a lot of ways.

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

Trumpism and MAGA

[–] renrenPDX@lemm.ee 4 points 3 weeks ago

People cannot handle social media and its impact on society, period.

[–] Blaze@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 weeks ago

Feel free to crosspost to !AskUSA@discuss.online

[–] Jamablaya@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Delete your social media, turn off the TV, go outside, talk with people. Is it hateful? No. You're being lied to.

[–] Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I apologize, I stopped reading about halfway through your post.

A lot of the call outs in this thread to delete your social media go outside and touch grass are spot on. You’re way too deep in social media and the 24hr news cycle.

I work in an industry that is very much conservative. Even the devoted MAGA people I meet are generally very nice if you speak with them outside of politics. A handful of the ones that seek out and want to talk politics (which is rare) are calm and I usually can get them to acknowledge the shortcomings of Trump when I start questioning the inconsistencies of his policies.

Our politics have grown courser and more extreme because of social media and the news cycle. The MAGA politicians of the Republican party take extreme positions to get attention. Moderation is ignored because it doesn’t grab headlines.

Yes Republican policies and very bad for our nation. But it doesn’t mean common citizens share those views. Usually it is much more nuanced.

[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

Nah, it's older than that, watch Deathwish 2 and tell American boomers weren't itching for an excuse to murder teenagers.

[–] Kaiyoto@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I don't really know why. Since I was a kid it feels like there is so much more hate, so much more Red vs Blue. It feels like everyone assumes if you are republican or democrat that you must be far right or left. Gods forbid there are moderates. Gods forbid you care about your neighbor regardless of political or religious belief or the choices they make.

It feels like "fuck you I'm taking my share and screwing you over" in order to make it in this capitalist society. It feels like philanthropy is a joke, that rich people don't invest in it unless it's a tax break. It's funny we don't see new buildings built with art or frills outside. It's just cold, monolithic type buildings which are as cold as the assholes running it inside. Very few companies care about their customers or employees. They just want those quick profits for the quarter. Fuck everyone else as long as they get their share. They expect this profits to go on forever but they don't realize that it has to end sometime and I hope every one of those companies collapse because of how hollow they've become. I know these are weird things to focus on but I feel like they are symptoms of bigger problems. It shows what is becoming a primary value in society which is MONEY MONEY MONEY instead things like ethics or looking at the bigger picture.

And fuck all these politicians who are busy lining their pockets with gold. Gods forbid they act like civil servants or at least vote on what is best for the people. There are industries that will get you fined and imprisoned if you commit fraud or the APPEARANCE THERE OF. Politicians should have similar laws slapped on them. Same goes for the Supreme Court which has become a fucking joke.

I'm sure there's a lot of little reasons that add up to this shit. I'm sure politicians stomping on education has a lot to do with it. It feels like critical thinking is not a basic skill anymore. Sure we can blame ourselves a little, but is it really all our fault?

And Jesus christ this brain dead social media crap where people just shit all over the internet and post comments or videos full of lies or contraversial crap just to get clicks because of either bullshit popularity or once again MONEY MONEY MONEY.

I do what I can to tolerate and not create this division of the country and to do what I can locally in the political landscape but I feel powerless to make any real change. That powerlessness is frustrating and infuriating. So yeah, when I see one asshole Ceo get taken out I feel a little glee and I hope it sends a message. I don't wish ill will upon others, but I'm not going to not say "he had that coming." I don't know if that is what others in my country feel but that's how I feel.

[–] uebquauntbez@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Using the unsocial 'social' networks?

[–] yessikg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 3 weeks ago

Car-centric infrastructure and American individualism have made USAmericans isolated and decimated communities and that has lead to a lot of bad things

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 0 points 3 weeks ago

You'd have to go to fox news--the network that lies so much that even their name is a lie--and ask them why they're doing everything they're doing.

Short answer is, they're the taliban.

[–] randon31415@lemmy.world -2 points 3 weeks ago

The baby boomers are reaching the end of their lives. They are fearful of death but can't do anything about it, so they are lashing out in other ways.

For those of you talking about 9/11, do you know that people born after 9/11 now have kids that are entering kindergarten?

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works -2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Constructive and condecending are two different things. Some people simply love to flaunt their pros and trash our cons.

I am more centrist with mildly right leaning views, but I play dnd with people that are quite left leaning. We respect each other's perspectives and differences but otherwise get along just fine. There are divides, mainly boiling down to city vs rural but reality often isn't as polarized as the news and comments will have you believe.

I'm willing to answer any questions you might have here or in DMs

[–] kerrigan778@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Out of curiosity, what do you consider centrist with mildly right leaning views?

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

It generally means I'm more in the middle of the road.

I like that marijuana is becoming legalized. I also want more responsible gun ownership. I want people to enjoy gay rights and freedom of religion as they see fit. I want a smaller less bureaucratic federal govt while also keeping a capable military. I want a good economy and action to mitigate climate change. I want very poor and homeless people to be cared for without ecouraging them to do nothing about it.

Basically I have something to piss everyone off

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