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Is it a reasonable expectation to check peoples profiles when commenting on their comments to ensure I am pronouning them correctly? (lemy.lol)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by ToucheGoodSir@lemy.lol to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

233 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they'd be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.

I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?

Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It's a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don't appear on mobile).

Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn't purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I'm not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I'd see what y'alls opinion on the matter is.

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[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I know that for some people it's quite a struggle. Whether it is their focus, lazyness, energy levels, unwillingness during their toilet time or something else.

So, I'd say no. That's part of why I usually just go for they/them. Just like when you don't know someone's pronouns irl

[–] semperverus@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Then there are those of us who grew up in an era where usernames either didn't matter or didn't exist (depending on the platform), so you quickly became conditioned to just not reading their name let alone clicking into their whole account to see who they are. I am guilty of it, but people looking at your profile is creepy.

I know that on Reddit before I left, the only time I ever took a good hard look at someone else's account is if they said something that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to look at everything else they said to find something to clap back with. By the time I would get partway through their post history, I would realize that I let a random stranger on the internet tilt me and then I'd calm down and feel stupid for a while before going back to my own business.

We are all strangers on the internet. Let's keep it that way.

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[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 10 points 2 months ago (25 children)

Just be more careful with gendered language. Also, the trans flag was right there

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[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

If they don't list their pronouns and i can't tell by their speech i just go neutral. Checking profiles for gender is definitely not considered necessary in the circles i run in. If poster doesn't make it clear and doesn't have pronouns listed honest mistakes will be made and forgiven

[–] zecg@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just stop giving a fuck, there's a metric shitton of crazies doing janny work, it's unpaid and very unsatisfying. If they ban you, it's either their instance's loss or nobody's. The account costs nothing because it's worth next to nothing. I don't even need the links that I myself post and the others' I can see even if they ban my account. This is a shitpile, it being in the fediverse doesn't make it less of a shitpile.

[–] Sasha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's a pretty reasonable misunderstanding, I don't speak for anyone but myself but generally as long as there's no malice involved I'm not upset by an accidental misgendering.

I'm on jerboa too and didn't even know there were specific pronouns on accounts, I just chucked mine in my bio.

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