Data is Beautiful

Before I was a ten, my mother was desperate to leave her home state and met a man online/a romantic post, moving states away. Had to be 1997, 1998.

Where i grew up no one had my values or my interests. My spouse of 10+ years i met on a free MMO back in 2010s we both happened to play and got to know each other there, then after a year chatting daily on cam, phone calls, and dms we met up.

So "meeting online" is really vague and can mean a lot of things. It's also gone from being new, some dating apps may help people connect, to being enshittified. Never used it for dating but OK cupid WAS ok at looking for like minded friends for like a second.

But people sharing hobbies and falling for each other probably will always happen even as the apps suck.

I wouldn't have found someone geographically near me with my same morals and hopes and wants out of life. I have never found "my parents and your parents birthed us here and so maybe we should get married" to be enough common ground.

I think this graph is fake. The way the data is presented is confusing, but the study they are citing doesn't seem to confirm anywhere close to the 60% figure, it seems to be saying 11.5% instead: https://www.icpsr.umich.edu/web/ICPSR/studies/38873/datasets/0001/variables/W1_Q24_MET_ONLINE?archive=icpsr

This lower figure also seems to line up with other studies: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/

One-in-ten partnered adults – meaning those who are married, living with a partner or in a committed romantic relationship – met their current significant other through a dating site or app.

The graph is branded with the logo of "Marriage Pact", which seems to be a dating app/service targeting college students. Maybe they made it as a form of (deceptive, unethical) advertising? I don't know, reverse image search just shows similarly unsourced social media posts, I can't confirm anything about its origins.

Having 4 shades of grey as colors in a colored graph certainly is a choice...

For me, the big question isn't what are the effects, but rather, what is the cause?

I see this as an effect of something else that other effects of could be mistaken as symptoms of this here.

Basically, the destruction of third spaces and public life in general has caused an increasing number of people to find relationships (both romantic and platonic) online because they no longer have the opportunity in their daily life. That, and the increased ease of long distance relationships and meeting people from far away means that people are probably more likely to have the opportunity to fall in love with somebody outside of their tiny corner of the world.

I wish there was some granularity to "online." I met my wife on a BBS in 94. It wasn't a dating site, it was a discussion board, and neither of us was looking to hook up with anyone. There are lots of things like that, but I'm guessing dating apps/sites are the biggest component.

I want to know which couples were meeting online in 1980.

It's almost like something happened in 2020 to cause a big spike. I wonder what that could have been, and if it is still the case.

Ah, life is full of mysteries.

Surely this graph is wrong? In 1974 couples used to meet while kung fu fighting. A lot of research tends to prove it.

I met my partner because my ex broke into their house with a friend to get their bong back. My partner and their ex, walked in on my friend and my ex, and obviously freaked out. I have no idea why they decided to be friends, but as a result, I've been in a relationship for 7 years now lmao. If anyone is wondering how that happened, we were poly, but now we're monogamous. Also, both of our ex'es are transitioning now, and I couldn't be happier for them. That's just a random coincidence. One male, one female. Also, it's really weird being in a straight relationship after being in a queer relationship for years. Sorry for the tangent.

That is kinda sad

Why does online shoot up as soon as it surpasses friends?

Those numbers don't seem toadd up to 100%...

I think the online thing is about to start dropping. The sites are so full of looky-loos who just want to chat and never actually meet in person they're hardly worth the time. I expect as the bot infestation continues to grow, they'll be even less useful.

I’m sure off loading the human mating ritual to profit driven companies will have no negative effects on society whatsoever, this definitely isn’t the horrors here to unseen except in the most dystopian of science fiction novels.

I'm from the south, what about family reunions?

It doesn't split, but I'd guess 99.9% of those online meets are dating apps (rather than other ways of meeting online).

That's kind of sad, not because there's any one way people should meet, but because meeting people is now mostly mediated through for profit companies.

A lot of people here are too young to get it, but work being a captive dating scene for skeezy shameless assholes is a million times worse than online dating.

The last really serious relationship started by meeting at a bar.

It was great because there was no expectations when we first started talking so the conversation was just natural, just two people talking. We exchanged numbers and soon started dating. I really think that it worked was because it was just an accidental meeting and we were both relaxed and had no ulterior motive.

I also think because dating in the wild there are fewer filters and few options, so you go with what you got. They may not be perfect but it's better than sitting around swiping for the perfect person that may not exist.

The collapse of society, visualized.