Homie I'm sorry that happened.
You might want to do some research on:
- verbal abuse
- narcissistic parent
- low self esteem
This is what I wish someone else told me.
Good luck on your journey
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
644 points (96.7% liked)
Programmer Humor
32744 readers
695 users here now
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn't been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She's not perfect and sometimes I think she's wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me
I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.
I'll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it's hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn't act in a supportive way
You should at least recognize that you're holding a double standard here: she's able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it's hard for you to criticize her because you care.
That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.
Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn't mean that they don't love you. It just means that their interactions aren't healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.
Regardless, I hope that you're doing well. I don't know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it's much more impressive than anything I've made
That's true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can't expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.
Well, and anybody can say or do things that are abusive.
Different people have different levels of tolerance for abusive behavior. The question is, when does it go from, "a person prone to occasional abusive bullshit" to "a person in the habit of committing acts of abuse"?
It's a lot like addiction in the sense that it's a sliding scale, but people largely outside of it will freely brand the slightest hint as a full blown catastrophe.
load more comments
(4 replies)
I'm genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn't, I'm proud of that and happy for you :)
But yeah, I'm sorry that she hasn't appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.
Yeah I guess. I've only been able to get internships- good internships. But I've never been able to get a real job
Well you managed to get the username aidan@lemmy.world before me, so that’s something
haha, yeah and it was only a week ago
load more comments
(2 replies)
Bill Gates was Bill Gates because he had rich parents who got him access to millions of dollars of computer hardware at a time when that was much harder than today. If you're not Bill Gates it's on your parents, imo.
That said, 100 stars is great. Keep it up! That's 100 people who looked at the stuff you're doing, evaluated it using their expertise, and decided it was good enough work to call attention to.
That part of it, sure, but the guy was good at business and made some smart bets (that the microcomputer industry would explode, for one). Microsoft didn't get as big as it has based only on their technical ability. They got there because they made the right decisions and were cutthroat against their competitors.
Bill was at the right time and right place, but he was also the right guy. You gotta have them all.
Cutthroat is an understatement. He did a lot of illegal stuff in the USA and internationally because governments had no idea how he was exploiting them/breaking commercial law. He also bribed hundreds of governments and stifled innovation. The world would be a better place without him.
load more comments
(13 replies)
It's easy to make some smart bets when you can make many bets and fail over and over and not become destitute.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Wow. This pretty much constitutes verbal abuse. I'm sorry you had to hear all that. And hey, I'm happy for you!
My mother told me to make Facebook. I tried explaining Facebook already existed, but it was no use.
You can run a Friendica instance and act like you invented it. My family was impressed when I "made my own Netflix" with a Plex server lol.
Moms don't know the Fediverse. Set up your own Twitter (Mastodon), Facebook (Friendica), Instagram (Pixelfed), stuff all of them behind some form of SSO to pretend it's all one common service.
You can still make Facebook, you just need to register it on a domain they haven't claimed. Then get sued and live in a box for the rest of your life while paying Zuck your bucks for trademark infringement.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I've got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I'm proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn't earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!
Nice that is really cool to have feedback from people using your creation
Drop the github fam I'd love to take a look
I'd love to but I would dox myself here which I don't want to do. I'll say this much: it is a thing where if you have looked for Linux alternatives of the Windows version, there is a small chance you've found my code already :)
Did you make a Linux hotdog stand theme??
Haha. Is there a demand for that from old timer windows 2.0 users? That stuff is before my time :)
load more comments
(1 replies)
104 stars is damn impressive.. can’t compare github stars to low effort social media likes!
Yeah, although the thing that makes me the most happy is actually seeing stuff I made being used.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Dude, I'm over here hyped as fuck when the same 12 bots download every single commit. You guys are getting stars? Lol
Someone used to periodically fork my repo of a college assignment and change all the text to Chinese. I assume they were stealing it but I don't know. I think their name was spikerman but I'm probably misremembering.
I'm proud of you!! That's huge. You should give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Verifiable progress and it's only up from here, keep it up :)
Honestly I don't know- I've been very lazy and lacking motivation for while so it's kinda going down
I would lack motivation too if I grew up with a mom like that. You need to eject her talk from your head. Every day you wake up a new person and whatever had happened earlier is nothing but memories. Begin again. You're free, and life is full of opportunities.
load more comments
(1 replies)
That's 102 stars more than my best... Nicely done :)
At least his heinously critical mom still looks young, I guess 🤷
Although most would probably count it as a negative that she looks to be the same age as her son.
Or maybe it's an unintended aspect of the art style and I should stop overanalysing everything like a goddamn moron, like MY mom keeps telling me 😉
I think there is definitely so time traveling going on here.
Yo why is this so relatable
so we have shared suffering
What's the GitHub link boss?
I wasn't actually referencing 1 project but the sum of 4(but most of the stars are in one)- so here's my profile
load more comments
(3 replies)
Is it this one? https://github.com/microsoft/tilecode
Xd, I don't work for microsoft- but good job finding a repo with exactly 104 stars
...and I took it personally.
view more: next ›