No Stupid Questions

Most people feel like this, in my experience. People usually don't feel totally satisfied with their accomplishments, but will assume everyone else is very satisfied with theirs. In reality, most people feel neutral about their situation 99% of the time, no matter how good it is. Past a certain point, when you've accommodated all your lower-level needs like food and safety, the only way to get legitimately happier is to count your blessings and be thankful for what you have, instead of chasing something you perceive as "better". Those things almost never actually make you happier, especially if they're materialistic.

Most people also show to others a fake version of themselves that has basically no problems in life. It's important to remember that what you see isn't usually what you get with most people. There are some who present themselves as being extremely happy but are severely depressed. It's important not to compare your genuine self to people's front-facing personas.

If your not enjoying your life, you're probably wasting it.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Comparison is the thief of joy

Jealousy is a huge motivator. Having to do something for a purpose is even better. What do you want to do? Because the endeavors you mentioned don't happen overnight. When your sitting at your desk solving some problem that you didn't even anticipate and you're not even doing that thing you set out to do, it's hard to stay motivated. So, what is it about those endeavors that you mentioned piques your interest?

You're a good candidate for taoist philosophy. While I'm not sure what having absolutely no long term goals really feels like, I've had them my whole life, I can tell you that people have their own paths, and its in this diversity of paths that one of our strengths as a species lies. This is why authoritarians suck on the modern battlefield--too much conformity, leaves them inflexible. We allow diversity of thought and encourage initiative and independent action, in our militaries.

I don't think you should look to other people's accomplishments if accomplishing those things was never your goal in the first place, though. Was your goal, perhaps, learning? If so, those folks usually wind up with an eventual responsibility of handing their knowledge down to future generations, once it is accumulated sufficiently. I don't see how that contribution is worth any less than a start-up though.

To answer the topic question, no I don’t, and its not a good thing. I’ve pushed it too hard for too many years and now my mind and body are suffering from that toll. And it wasn’t worth it.

My advice is take up a few hobbies, and enjoy life. Don’t bother chasing others or “Keeping up with the Jones.” Enjoy existing, because it is short.

1. don't compare your life to other peoples. Everyone has their own path to follow. Some people are simply more motivated than others, and that's okay. As soon as I accepted I wasn't a money hungry ladder climber and just wanted peaceful stress free life carved on my own terms my goals were much more clear.

2. figure out what you really want. A person is like a ship at sea, it must have a destination, something to work towards, otherwise it floats adrift aimlessly. Picture what you want in your mind and want it so bad that you have to have it. If you don't know what it is, think harder and dream in your minds eye until a picture arises.

Don't compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

Do you have a goal? Set realistic achievable milestones. Come up with a 5 year plan of how you're going to get where you want to be.

I feel I should be more adventurous. Every weekend comes by and I find myself just being a homebody, pretty much since COVID.

I think the trick is to find a hobby and / or get out be adventurous more often.

Having good friends is helpful, but those are so hard to come by later on in life.

Only 99%?

That seems low to be honest.

Its time for me to read desiderata again.

TLDR - focus more on what you have control over

I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people

Same.

How did you deal with this?

One thing that helps is trying to avoid that kind of information, whenever possible. The less you know about something that bothers you, the less it ends up bothering you. Still on that page, another thing that kind of helps me deal with it is knowing that a good portion of those "30 under 30" from Forbes might be grifts or scams, like Elizabeth Holmes, Sam Bankman Fraud and Charlie Javice.

Another thing that helps me cope is knowing that this whole pressure for overachieving is cultural poison. It's the same shit those NLP quantic coaches peddle, a way to blame YOU for not having an amazing life, full of riches and recognition, because YOU didn't try hard enough. An easy, culturally acceptable way to look down on people with deadend jobs or unemployed.

I don’t like the way the things are

Me neither and, like you, I don't have the means to change shit. Apes alone weak. But, like the TLDR, you have to focus more on what you CAN do, even if small and irrelevant. That's still on you and that's your part.

The funny thing is that the older I get, the more I understand why huge communities can make everyone feel so lonely. You live somewhere close to, say, 20 families, but barely know 2, despite being physically close to where they sleep. How weird is that? All those closed doors and passing sights create a huge disconnect with people that you should care about, because they're so close to where you live that their lives can directly affect yours.

I'm a father.

I know that life is fleeting. Consider it a success if you're remembered in 2 generations after you pass.

Am I saying "have kids"? No. I just know that what I taught to them will be passed on. Even if my name was lost, my contribution wasn't.

We live on by what we pass on. You're not a failure when you stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. If one idea continues, so do you.