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I'd say an ally is someone you have an alliance with, so someone with who you have agreed to pursue a common goal. So yeah, I'd say if you are someone's ally, they are also yours.
That differs somewhat from how it's used in the LGBT+ community, where it refers to non-LGBT+ supporters of LGBT+ rights.
I think i would relax your defintion slightly to two partys with compatible goals. For example, Japan and Germany were considered allies in ww2, but they did not have the same common goals.
Of course, this could be the oppressor class in me speaking, so maybe I am wrong :/
To me, an alliance speaks to shared goals. And while that is often used in in the military sense of "mutual defense", it has other uses. When used in a social justice context, "being an ally" means the person shares the goal of equal rights &c. for the community being oppressed, even though they themselves are not being oppressed in that way.
If I say someone is my ally, I’m automatically their ally.
You might be lying; you also might not understand what the person needs or wants, to the point that the actions you are taking or endorsing are harmful to them.
"I'm an ally" is the US way of saying "I'm part of the oppressor class but have exempted myself from criticism for my participation in the oppression."