this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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How often do you maintain your relationship with past acquaintances friends etc ? (lemmings.world)
submitted 1 year ago by gunpachi@lemmings.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
13 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I know a lot of people but I find it really difficult to maintain contact with most of them. I can manage a few in my close circle and some acquaintances but definitely not more than 20 people.

It doesn't take much time for the gap to widen and before you know it they'll start treating you like a stranger.

So I was thinking whether there's something like the Forgetting curve for relationships.

Maybe finding out the optimal time interval can help me set reminders to connect with a few people now and then.

Well this was just a though that randomly came to me. I thought I'd ask the wonderful people over here.

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[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I pretty much always say yes when a person wants to hang out. But, I’m the kind of person who lets you call me. So, I maintain them poorly I suppose.

[–] root@aussie.zone 2 points 1 year ago

That sounds like me. LOL

[–] pixelscript@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

I don't, tbh.

Not out of any principle. I'm not, like, eager to be rid of past friends or anything. But if they slip away, well, it just be like that.

I'm more than content to Ship of Theseus my way through life's transient relationships. You keep some longer than others. New people take the place of long missing ones. That's just the cycle. It's fine. Just hang on to the ones you can, and that's enough. You can't keep them all around forever.

I'm always receptive to meeting old faces. But I'm not discoverable on any public socials, and I don't live where most of my old friends were. (And neither do they, for the most part.) So opportunities for it are extremely rare.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Well, I have ADHD... so once every decade, I'll give someone a call and talk to them as if we spoke last week. This is hard for a few of my friends but most of them are cool... and a fair few are fellow ADHDers.

[–] Snowplow8861@lemmus.org 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Who needs 20! Lol. Says more about me than you.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

OP should have mentioned their age IMO.

For me it's wildly different like:

school/uni, git a job but no kids, kids&family, later.

Edit: age / where the are in life ofc.

[–] Devi@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

The easiest way for me has always been social media. If you have them on there you can both keep up with each other, comment occasionally on each others stuff, and then it's more organic to be like "hey, I haven't seen you in a while, do you want to go for a drink?".

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I have a number of people who I text nearly daily. With many of them it is often just wordless sharing of meme pictures but it keeps the contact fresh if either of us want to actually talk or meet up.

In the cases of the ones I want to keep the most we have exchanged backup numbers of family members, which we never use, but are there if one person suddenly stops texting for a long time.

[–] Aquila@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

I was wondering about this recently too. Saw some good advice. It depends but whenever you miss that person that’s when you should reach out. Gonna be different for each relationship

[–] JWBananas@startrek.website 2 points 1 year ago

Not often enough

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

I wouldn't overthink it and just go with whatever feels right, so organically. Friendships constantly change and shift and that's OK. When I can't get what I need I'll go out and meet new poeple.

[–] bunkyprewster@startrek.website 1 points 1 year ago

I

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I only have a few people I can do it with, and it's difficult because they moved when I did.